Tis the season...

Lacy Williams here.

Black Friday is just past. Stores have had Christmas items and decorations out for at least a month.

Traffic is getting a little crazy, and the grocery store is constantly packed.

But in all the chaos of the season, I'm finding joy. Having little children is a blessing. To be able to see things through their eyes, to know the joy of Christmas again when I myself have gotten a little cynical.

We decorated our tree over a week ago. Yes, we have the overload of ornament on the bottom branches (where they can reach!). And the littlest Miss has an obsession with the cord. Yikes!

We put up our outside lights as well and it makes me smile when our son (two years old) asks daddy to drive around the neighborhood to see lights every time we come home after dark.

Sure, there's family stress and money is tight, but we get to talk about the birth of Jesus when the kids want to know what Christmas is all about. It's a bit like having a second childhood. And isn't that what it's all about? Jesus said that we need to have faith like a little child.

I hope that no matter your circumstances this holiday season, you'll find joy in the small things. What's your favorite thing about Christmas?

Lacy Williams grew up on a farm, which is where her love of cowboys was born. In reality, she's married to a right-brained banker (happily with three kiddos). She gets to express her love of western men by writing historical romance. Her books have finaled in the RT Book Reviews Reviewers' Choice Awards (2012, 2013 & 2014), the Golden Quill and the Booksellers Best Award. JOIN LACY'S NEWSLETTER

Here's the blurb for her recent release RETURN OF THE COWBOY DOCTOR:
Two years shy of his medical degree, cowboy Maxwell White is out of money. So, he's back in Bear Creek, Wyoming, working part-time for the local physician. Though he is immediately drawn to the doctor's lovely, whip-smart daughter, she seems to be irritated by Maxwell's very existence.
Hattie Powell can't quash her feelings for the town's new would-be doctor. But that's exactly why she must keep him at a distance. Hattie is closer than ever to fulfilling her lifelong wish of becoming a doctor. Now, the only thing standing in her way is the man of her dreams.

"Williams delivers a smart, gentle, and uplifting fourth novel set in 1890s Wyoming (after Roping the Wrangler)...sweet, poetic Max is a lovable hero, and Hattie's desire to have both career and family will resonate strongly with readers." - Publisher's Weekly (Oct 28, 2013)

4.5 stars TOP PICK! "Hattie's story accurately depicts the kind of prejudice a female doctor would have faced in 1897. It is easy to have sympathy with the hero's character, and the mention of his brothers will leave the reader eager to hear their stories in future books." -RT Book Reviews (December)

The Christmas Story

The Christmas Story
By Margaret Daley

This is one of my favorite movies at Christmas. I've watched it many times and I don't usually watch a movie more than once. Although I was a little younger than Ralphie at the time the movie took place, a lot of what happened spoke to me and brought back such fond memories of Christmas as a child. There are some priceless scenes--the one with the leg lamp, visiting Santa Claus, the Red Ryder B.B. gun obsession and how to get one, the tongue glued to the flagpole, the classroom scenes, etc. I could go on and on about the movie. What Christmas movie have you enjoyed--possibly watched more than once?

A Special Christmas Moment

A Special Christmas Moment

By Margaret Daley

One of the special Christmas moments I look back fondly on was the one where my parents had an open house every Christmas Eve. Friends and relatives (children included) visited, laughed, talked and ate at my home. My mother cooked for days and put out quite a feast for the guests. I especially loved her homemade eggnog.

I can still remember on those Christmas Eves a fire going in the fireplace, the Christmas tree, full of decorations, all lit up and snow falling outside (some years). Every holiday when we put up our tree I love putting those old ornaments from my childhood on my tree. In fact, my Christmas tree is full of memories from my childhood, my son’s and places and people I’ve known. Decorating our tree is a journey into the past for my husband and me.

So when my cats tipped the Christmas tree over, I was not happy. When I walked into my living room and saw the mess, my mouth dropped open. I was totally surprised. I'm not sure which one was responsible, but boy were they curious about all the ornaments on the floor. I had to wait until my husband came home to right the tree. I was afraid to look at the ones that were broken--I thought most of them were. When we put it up, half of the ornaments were on the floor but surprisingly only three of them were broken. I couldn’t' believe more weren't broken. A lot of the old ones I had from my mother (over fifty years old) were glass ornaments. Not one of them broke.

So next year I'll be able to put up my tree and remember all the people and places that the ornaments remind me of. That is a special time when I decorate the tree.

What is one of your favorite memories of Christmas? 

Blurb for Her Holiday Hero (Caring Canines Series) by Margaret Daley:

The Soldier's Gift 

The holidays are right around the corner, but Captain Jake Tanner is struggling to find Christmas cheer. Having survived a devastating attack overseas, he has emotional scars that run deep. When Jake meets beautiful widow Emma Langford, his heart is unprepared for the feelings she inspires. 

Training service dogs has taught Emma to recognize those in need. She wants to show Jake that a four-legged companion is the best therapy, but she's afraid that the closer she gets, the more her own wounds are revealed. 

Together, Jake and Emma will discover it takes a different kind of bravery to open themselves to love—and to healing. 

Caring Canines: Loving and loyal, these dogs mend hearts.

Her Holiday Hero Interview

How exciting to have Jake Tanner the hero from Her Holiday Hero a December by Margaret Daley, 2013 release from Love Inspired Romance.

1.  Jake, tell me the most interesting thing about you. I played football in high school and took the team to state finals. Being on the football team helped me to learn to be a member of a group.

2.  What do you do for fun? Lately not much. Since leaving the Army because of an injury, I've gone back to school to get my doctorate in psychology. I want to help veterans.

3.  What do you put off doing because you dread it? Getting back into the mainstream of things. I don't like being in large groups.

4.  What are you afraid of most in life? Not being able to overcome PTSD.

5.  What is the most important thing to you? Helping fellow soldiers deal with returning from a war zone.

6.  Do you read books? If so, what is your favorite type of book? Right now I'm reading for my doctorate program in psychology.

7.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? That my men were never ambushed and slaughtered, that I could save them.

8.  Do you have a pet? If so, what is it and why that pet? I have a service dog that Emma Langford trained and gave me. His name is Shep. He has been a wonderful companion and a big help easing my anxiety.

9. If you could travel back in time, where would you go and why? Back before the ambush and stop my men from being caught in the middle of it.

FEATURED BOOK: HER HOLIDAY HERO BY MARGARET DALEY

The Soldier's Gift 

The holidays are right around the corner, but Captain Jake Tanner is struggling to find Christmas cheer. Having survived a devastating attack overseas, he has emotional scars that run deep. When Jake meets beautiful widow Emma Langford, his heart is unprepared for the feelings she inspires. 

Training service dogs has taught Emma to recognize those in need. She wants to show Jake that a four-legged companion is the best therapy, but she's afraid that the closer she gets, the more her own wounds are revealed. 

Together, Jake and Emma will discover it takes a different kind of bravery to open themselves to love—and to healing. 

Caring Canines: Loving and loyal, these dogs mend hearts.

The Time to Celebrate with Family

On Fridays through the Christmas-New Years Season, the Craftie Ladies will be sharing family photos of holidays recent and in the past. The first is Author Terri Reed.

 

Terri Reed here with my daughter on her first Christmas.  We lived in a little apartment on a hill in Portland that our tree barely fit into.  I had so much fun dressing her up in frilly outfits. It's hard to believe she'll be 21 soon. I've been so blessed to have a daughter that is loving, kind, self-assured and generous. God must really love me.

Jean C. Gordon Family--The roster: On the couch, my son-in-law and daughter, granddaughter, me, husband. In front, my grandson, Mr. Buttons, Xena, my son, and Colossus. Cat 1 and Cat 2 declined to be photographed.

Dana Mentink Family: Pictured are Papa Bear, Boo Boo, Yogi and yours truly (otherwise known as the Mentink clan.

More Family photos next Friday!--Lyn

Happy Thanksgiving!

Offer unto God Thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the Most High. Psalm 50:14 KJV

Coming up with a new idea for a Thanksgiving blog is a challenge. It’s always fun to share our favorite Thanksgiving memories, our favorite recipes, our multitude of blessings for which to be thankful, what we’re thankful for, and even our attempts to relax and enjoy the day before plunging into Black Friday Christmas shopping. These are all good things that touch our common humanity, but weren’t quite what I wanted to say. (Above are some of our homemade Thanksgiving decorations.)

As I prayed for something fresh to write, this simple thought occurred to me: Giving thanks is not for the benefit of the Person one is thanking but for the benefit of the person giving thanks. Worship, praise, and thanksgiving are woven together to form a strong cord that ties us together in a loving, growing relationship with God. Therefore, God desires our heartfelt praise and sincere thanksgiving not because He needs it but because we need it to bring us closer to Him. Psalm 50:23 (KJV) says, “Whoso offereth praise glorifieth Me; and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I show the salvation of God.” This salvation the Lord grants us includes changing the way we view things. When we focus on the Giver instead of the gifts, we see the world and our own lives in proper perspective, God’s perspective. The reward? Peace in our hearts and an assurance of God's continuing presence.

Dear God,

Thank you for my life in a free country, the United States of America, and the patriotic heritage You have given me. Thank You for dreams come true and dreams deferred by Your wisdom. Thank you for my loving family. Most of all, thank You for salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.

What are you thankful for this year? As you offer your thanks to the great Giver, let His Spirit fill you with worship and praise so you can see the world and your life through His eyes.

I'm so thankful for my family. Here are my daughter Jane and granddaughter Savannah making something yummy for Thanksgiving dinner.

 

Award-winning Florida author Louise M. Gouge writes historical fiction for Harlequin's Love Inspired imprint. In addition to numerous other awards, Louise is the recipient of the prestigious Inspirational Readers’ Choice Award for her 2005 novel, Hannah Rose. With her great love of history and research, Louise has traveled to several of her locations to ensure the accuracy of her stories’ settings. When she isn't writing, she and her husband love to visit historical sites and museums. Her 2011 Love Inspired Historical Regency novella, The Gentleman Takes a Bride, earned second place in the prestigious Inspirational Readers Choice Award. Louise has now turned her attention to her old home in Colorado, and her first Love Inspired Historical western will be released in June 2014. Please visit her Web site at http://blog.Louisemgouge.com

Texas K-9 Unit Christmas made a list!

Terri Reed here.   My novella duet with the incomparable Shirlee McCoy hit a list.  That's huge for an author.  Our 2 in 1 novella book came in at #25 in this weeks Publishers Weekly bestseller list in mass market paperback.

Looking at the list made my heart pound.  We are in such good company I can hardly stand it.

Our own Linda Goodnight's duet with the fabulous Debbie Macomber is on the list!

And my dear friend Lisa Gardner is #1!!

There are also numerous authors on this list that I admire a great deal.  This would be a long post if I named them all and showed the cover of their books.  But you can click on this link to see the whole list.
http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/nielsen/massmarket.html

Sugarplum Homecoming and Thankfulness

 



 

 

 

Thanksgiving week is upon us, and I do so love Thanksgiving. The kids are coming in and we'll have a big celebration, watch some football, draw names for Christmas, and eat WAY too much.

 

And this year I have so much to be Thankful for. My blessings are many. Sure, I have trials and problems and heartaches. Who doesn't? But I am blessed, too.

 

A few weeks ago, one of the early Love Inspired novels was paired with one of Debbie Macomber's books and guess what? It's now sitting at #14 on the NY Times bestseller list and is also on USA Today and Publisher's Weekly lists. Now, if that's not a writer's blessing, I don't know what is.

 

And then, I'm thankful for my new book, which is out this very week, Sugarplum Homecoming. It's all the warmhearted traditions of Christmas, plus children wishing for a mommy and a recovering alcoholic who thinks she's anything but mommy material. I hope you like it!

 

What's happening in your neck of the woods?

 

 

John F Kennedy

Terri Reed here.  This month marked the 50th's Anniversary of the 35th presidents assassination.  I wasn't born yet when he died, but I remember asking my mother once where she was when she heard the news.  She was a few months pregnant with me.  She was in the living room of the house she and my dad shared in South Lake Tahoe.  She was watching the president's motorcade on television as she was ironing clothes.  Her words formed an image in my mind that has never left.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/marks-jfk-assassination-50th-anniversary-article-1.1525989

The events of the day changed our nation in so many ways.  One way that I found fascinating was how the secret service changed.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/23/politics/jfk-secret-service/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

If you were old enough do you remember where you were when you heard the news?  Do you know where your parents or grandparents were when they heard the news?

Good Thing Friday

Messy Faith

Hello,
This is Barbara Phinney. Take a look up at the title. Isn't it great?  My church is doing a series based on a book that inspired this title. Messy Faith

And for some reason, this title really resonated with me. Indeed, my faith is messy. As messy as my current working space, which is supposed to be our dining room table, but I found my desk was too small right now. 

Take a look. To the left are peach saplings I hope will live through the winter, plus the watering can. Hey, I'll put it away. The broken pair of binos is there because I was too lazy to go outside to see if the mailman came. The large white book is sitting on a long candle centerpiece, and the pizza pan is sitting atop a bagette pan. This is my life right now as I complete Protected by the Warrior, my LIH due out August 2014. And in a way, this is my faith right now.

I know there are some whose faith is a simple and neat and as peaceful as a stretch of pastureland under clear skies. 

Not so mine. I am always pushing my faith around, dropping it, letting things get stacked up on top of it and yup, spilling coffee on it occasionally. Then, I will drag it out and rescue it, grimace at the stains and try my best to fix it. 
And yes, wondering why it got so complicated, and wondering if I can simplify it.

Thankfully, "Messy Faith" isn't just about my muddled intentions. It's about grazing at the edge of the pasture, as some of us Love Inspired authors are apt to do. It's about allowing God to be the One to perfect the life that is my sloppy attempt at Christian living, to push us out of our neat and not so neat lives to find that real Christian peace.

So, is your faith messy or neat? Simple or complex? Tell me how you see yours.

Is faster always better?

Is faster always better? In this age of doing everything as fast as possible, it makes me value the slower things. I’ve had this conversation with my agent in the past. “When can you have it to us?” the publisher asks. The pressure is on to deliver it quickly, of course, but as Chip reminds me, “A good book is better than a fast book.” Yep, I agree. I can write a novel in three months, but it’s not going to be as well put together as the one I toil away on for four months or so. Do you find this to be true in your life? Are there things you take your time to finish, even in this rapid fire world?

In honor of the “take your time” philosophy, here’s a nice fall recipe that is so simple and so good but you’ve got to have patience (and a crock pot!) Enjoy! Crock Pot Applesauce 6-10 apples, peeled, and cut into chunks. ½ c. water 1 c. sugar 1 Tbsp. cinnamon Dash of nutmeg A squeeze of lemon. Combine in crock pot. Cook on low for 6 hours. Enjoy! Delicious warm or cold.

Reindeer Run Amok: Sleigh Bell Sweethearts by Teri Wilson

Sleigh Bell Sweethearts by Teri Wilson

Welcome back to Aurora, Alaska! Sleigh Bell Sweethearts, my November release from the Love Inspired line, is the third book in my series of Alaskan romances. It's a Christmas book with a rather quirky twist…what would you do if out of the blue you suddenly inherited a reindeer farm? That's the dilemma heroine Zoey Hathaway faces on page one, and things only go downhill from there.

Zoey doesn't know a thing about reindeer. Neither did I when I started writing this book. I'd seen reindeer in person before, and had even been chased by some when I participated in the Running of the Reindeer in Anchorage one year when I was there on vacation. But that was the extent of my reindeer knowledge.

I reached out to the Williams Reindeer Farm, a family-run enterprise in Palmer, Alaska, and they helped me along the way. In the beginning, I was so clueless that I didn't even know what questions to ask. I sent Denise Hardy, one of the owners, a list of questions. And then I began peppering her daily with more questions that kept popping up.

What do they eat? (Hint: not reindeer chow.) What do they do all day long? Do they make noise? Have you ever tried to herd them using a dog? What kind of fence do you have? And…(poor Denise)…tell me how to teach them to pull a sleigh! She patiently responded to all my inquiries, even going so far as to send me photos and videos.

Really, I owe Denise a debt of gratitude. I never could have written the book without her. And Palmer, the main reindeer character in the book, has turned out to be every reader's favorite. Everyone wants to adopt a naughty reindeer now. You will, too, once you visit the Williams Reindeer Farm's Facebook page. Make sure to take a peek come springtime when the babies are born. Beyond adorable. Truly.

You can visit them here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Williams-Reindeer-Farm/141332809217918

And be sure to check out Sleigh Bell Sweethearts to find out how Zoey copes when three dozen reindeer and one very surly ranch hand are dropped in her lap!

Second Chance Yuletide  

Owning her own plane is all charter pilot Zoey Hathaway's ever dreamed of. So when she inherits a struggling reindeer farm, with three dozen unruly reindeer and one dangerously attractive ranch hand, Zoey's well-crafted plans seem to fly out the window. Now she must put her trust in Alec Wynn, and hope that the troubled cowboy's past won't interfere with her plans to save the farm. Zoey knows that if she wants to succeed, she can't do everything on her own. But as she accepts Alec's help, she'll soon realize it's not just her farm that's at stake—but her heart.

Rescuing Christmas Interview

Today we're welcoming Lily Anderson the heroine of Rescuing Christmas, written by Terri Reed a November 2013 release by Love Inspired Suspense. 

Wow, you've just had quite an adventure.   

1.    Tell us a little about yourself and how you came to be in the midst of such suspense.  It was so scary. After a Christmas dinner with some girlfriends a man abducted me from my car. I didn’t see his face so I don’t know who or why.  I managed to escape but he came after me.

2.    So, during the book you met Jarrod Evans.  Tell us a bit about him. Jarrod is a K-9 officer out of the Dallas PD.  He came to Sagebrush so I could help him train his new partner. What was your first impression? I thought I was dreaming when I first saw him. Tall, handsome and heroic.  When did you know it was love? I’m not sure I can pinpoint when.  From the moment he entered my life, I felt drawn to him but I was too afraid to believe I’d find love.  I held back and almost lost the opportunity to tell him how I felt.

3.    What strengths/skills do you have? I’m good with dogs.  I understand them.  Dogs are such great companions as well as protectors. What is your greatest weakness? I’m too trusting, but then again that could be a strength.

4.    What scares you? The thought of being alone for the rest of my life.

5.    If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I’d be bolder, more assertive.

6.    Where are you in your faith at the start of your story? I’m a believer and thought my faith was strong.

7.    Where are you in your faith at the end of the story? My faith is deeper. I’m more trusting of God

8.    You've got a scripture at the beginning of the story.  Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 Tell us why this scripture is significant. This verse helps me to remember that faith comes from within not by what is visible or touchable.   

9.    If you could be a dessert what would you be and why? I’d be bread pudding. Warm and gooey and sweet, yet substantial.

FEATURED BOOK:TEXAS K-9 UNIT CHRISTMAS-RESCUING CHRISTMAS BY TERRI REED

CHRISTMAS COMES WRAPPED IN DANGER… 

Holiday Hero by Shirlee McCoy 

Emma Fairchild never expected to find trouble in sleepy Sagebrush, Texas. But when she's attacked and left for dead in her own diner, her childhood friend turned K-9 cop Lucas Harwood offers a chance at justice—and love. 

Rescuing Christmas by Terri Reed 

She escaped a kidnapper, but now a killer has set his sights on K-9 dog trainer Lily Anderson. When fellow officer Jarrod Evans appoints himself her bodyguard, Lily knows more than her life is at risk—so is her heart. 

Texas K-9 Unit: These lawmen solve the toughest cases with the help of their brave canine partners 

Award winning, multipublished author Terri Reed discovered the wonderful world of fiction at an early age and declared she would one day write a book. Now she's fulfilling that dream by writing for Love Inspired. She is a member of both Romance Writers of America and American Christian Fiction Writers. You can visit her online at www.terrireed.com or email her at terrireed@sterling.net or leave comments on http://craftieladiesofromance.blogspot.com/ or www.loveinspiredauthors.com

Good Thing Friday

Birmingham Romance

Debby Giusti here!

I love attending the Southern Magic Readers' Luncheon, and this year's event, held in Birmingham, Alabama, on November 2, was so much fun!

Love Inspired Author Debbie Kaufman and I hosted table 23. The ladies were delightful, and we enjoyed the lunch and the time we were able to spend together.

Publishers Weekly contributing editor Barbara Vey flew in from Milwaukee and chatted with Heart of Dixie author Katherine Bone.

Author Lindi Peterson drew the name for the winner of her basket. Doesn't Lindi looks great on the big screen!

Here's my author basket.

And the winner is...Danielle Whitehead.

The book signing followed.

Thanks, Southern Magic Romance Writers, for a wonderful luncheon. See you next year!

Wishing you abundant blessings,
Debby Giusti
www.DebbyGiusti.com
www.seekerville.blogspot.com

THE SOLDIER’S SISTER

By Debby Giusti

WHO WILL PROTECT HER?

Someone wants Stephanie Upton dead. A warning to leave town is just the beginning. Fearing for her life, Stephanie turns to Special Agent Brody Goodman for help and protection. But can she trust him when he’s convinced her own brother is a prime suspect? Torn between her devotion to two men—an estranged brother whose trust she yearns to regain and an agent she may be falling for—Stephanie doesn’t know who or what to believe. As feelings between her and Brody escalate, she’ll have to choose sides to stay alive.

Available now at Amazon.

That Creative Gene by Leann Harris

Before I started writing full time, I had several hobbies.  I sewed (all my own clothes), knit, crochet,  and embroidered.  (Notice cooking wasn't one of my creative outlets.)   But after I sold my first book, all those creative outlets went away, since I channeled most of my creative energy into writing.

But I have noticed that most writers have another creative outlet that they enjoy in addition to writing.  I know Allie Pleiter is big into knitting and I've seen several of her creations and they are beautiful.  For me, my creative outlet turned to gardening.  How that came to be is still a question in my mind, but I love gardening.  Digging in the dirt, planting bulbs or seeds and watching them bloom is exciting.  What I fell in love with were Iris.  My mother-in-law had an Iris garden that included nearly half of her yard.

Spring wiil be so much fun and this year since I'll be able to be outside and dig in the dirt.

So what is the creative outlet that you love?

The Firefighter's Match Interview

Interview with Josephine “JJ” Jones, the heroine, of The Firefighter’s Match by Allie Pleiter a November 2013 release from Love Inspired Romance.

1.  JJ, tell me the most interesting thing about you.

I’ve finished an Army tour of duty in the middle east, and seen things that will change me forever.  It hasn’t been easy coming back, but I’m hoping some time away in Gordon Falls will help me settle in again.

2.  What do you do for fun?

It’s been way too long since I’ve had much fun.  Right now my favorite thing is to sit on the river dock behind the cabin I’m staying in.  The peace and quiet are nice.  Another week or so of peace and I think I’ll be up to some fun.  Of course, the guys at the firehouse are all too ready to have some fun--at my expense.  They’ve never had a female fire fighter before, and they don’t seem to know how to act around me.

3.  What do you put off doing because you dread it?

Getting connected to people again.  It’s funny--you’re hardly ever physically alone in the army, but you can wall yourself off from people easily.  I need to make some new friends, only I can’t seem to remember how to do that. 

4.  What are you afraid of most in life?

I’ve had all the fear I can handle already.  I’m here because I’m trying not to be afraid.  I want to stop looking over my shoulder and wondering what people want from me.

5.  What do you want out of life?

I want to be part of a community.  Both the firehouse and all of Gordon Falls seems like the place to find those connections.  I could be settling in well, I think, if it weren’t for my brother Max’s accident.

6.  What is the most important thing to you?

Right now, it’s getting Max through the worst of his injuries.  He’s a mess, and taking his frustrations out on everyone around him.  He’s fighting his own hard battle right now, and I want to be there for him and protect my little brother.

7.  Do you read? If so, what is your favorite type of book to read?

I haven’t read a book in ages.  I think the last books I picked up were army training manuals. I should probably change that and go get a Gordon Falls library card.

8.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would get my trust in people back.  I was starting to trust Alex Cushman before things fell apart with Max, and now look what happened!  It feels like I can’t trust anyone these days, and that’s no way to live.

9.  Do you have a pet? If so, what is it and why that pet?

There’s a turtle who keeps popping his head up by my river dock, but I don’t think he counts.  I’d like to have a dog someday.  They’re loyal and love you no matter what.

10. If you could travel back in time, where would you go and why?

Honestly, I’d go back in time to before I went to war.  I’d undo lots of what I have done, and I’d like to loose some of the memories I have now.  I’ve got too many scars to really be happy right now, and I’d give anything to change that.