Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Life Can Change in a Moment by Deb Kastner


...And so can blog posts.

I had intended to do a character interview with Angelica May Carmichael, the heroine for my June Love Inspired contemporary And Cowboy Makes Three. She’s a particularly interesting heroine because I’ve turned the alpha man trope on its head. In this case, Angelica is the town bad girl and hero Rowdy Masterson is a stand-up fellow whom everyone loves.

Angelica skipped town on the eve of her wedding to Rowdy without so much as an explanation, so when she turns back up in Serendipity, Texas with her Down syndrome baby Toby and no wedding ring, no one is really surprised.

She’s only in town to settle her late grandmother’s will, but Granny has something else in mind, sending both Angelica and Rowdy on the ride of their lives.

That's what I intended to write about.

But mid-morning two days ago, my fifteen-year-old terrier mix Missy went out to do her business in our large back yard and then we couldn’t find her. Now, she’s deaf as a post, so I didn’t immediately worry, but my hubby Joe said he felt in his gut something was wrong. He didn’t even bother putting his shoes on, nor use his cane, though he is physically disabled. He rushed down the porch stairs as fast as he could and found Missy up next to the wall of the house, on her back, covered with mud and her legs twitching in the air as she tried in vain to rise to her feet.

She had suffered a stroke and the whole right side of her body was paralyzed. And when I looked into her frightened eyes, I knew. It was time for her to cross over the Rainbow Bridge.

I’ve had two other dogs that have passed during my adult years, but they did so on their own time, falling asleep peacefully at home. But Missy was suffering and the damage was permanent. It was up to me to be strong enough to be there for her in her last moments to make her passing peaceful and loving.

The vet tech cried along with me as she gave Missy a sedative that would calm her down and take away her pain. The vet came in, I whispered, “I love you,” and “Goodbye,” and Missy was gone.

Gone from this world, perhaps, but not gone from my heart. Grief is weighing me down and all I want to do is cry and sleep and dream of a place and time she is still with me.


Life does change in a moment. Sometimes for the good. Sometimes it breaks your heart. Both Rowdy and Angelica experience those moments, and I hope you’ll pick up And Cowboy Makes Three to find out how they overcome.

As for me, if it’s all right with you, I think I’m going to wipe away my tears and go take a nap.

RIP Missy. Run and play over the Rainbow Bridge.

16 comments:

  1. Deb, I'm so sorry to hear about Missy. It's so hard losing a pet. We lost our 14 year old Callie in February of this year. Just thinking about her makes cry still.

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    1. I'm fine, and then suddenly I'll remember something (like her taking off with my toast or when I'm eating spaghetti, her favorite "begging" meal) and burst into sobs.

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  2. Oh Deb, I'm crying with you. It's so hard to lose our beloved companions. Hugs and prayers.

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  3. Oh, Deb, ack ack ack. When Mike was four, I had to put down my 22 year old cat. Yup, twenty two. I had that cat longer than I'd been married! Right now, I've a five year old cat and a three year old dog. Gish, no, the cat is six.
    Love your books

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    1. Thanks, Pamela. Since I've always had at least one dog, it's practically inconceivable that this is the first time I've had to put one down with a vet's help. This is one time when having a creative mind isn't so great. I keep remembering every detail and breaking down in tears, even after a week has passed.

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  4. So sorry, Deb. Our granddog Bear passed over the bridge a couple months ago and I still miss him. Hugs and sympathy!

    On a brighter note, I love the premise of your story!!! Is this a secret baby?

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    1. We had a Bear when the kids were young. He was a Staffordshire Bull Terrier (a little short-legged guy with a big chest they call Nanny Dogs in England since they're so good with children.)

      Toby isn't exactly a secret baby in that he's not Rowdy's, but I feel in my gut this is one of my best books to date. You know how some are just special?

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  5. Oh Deb, I feel your pain. Losing our furry loved ones is so very hard. Praying for your peace and comfort through this difficult time.

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  6. Deb, this is so sad. We lost our last cat (can't have another because of allergies in the house) over a year ago, and I'm still sad every time I think of it. Our furry loved ones are so precious in our hearts. Hope your memories bring you comfort.

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  7. Awww, Deb! I am so sorry. I've lost four dogs in my adult life and my 12 year lab grows grouchier by the days. With my husband gone, I don't want to make the decision when it comes time. I pray I won't have to. I know it is difficult.

    Hugs to you.

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  8. This same thing happened to our cat, Bonnie, a few years ago. The emergency vet was about 35 minutes away. That was probably the longest 35 minutes of my life. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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  9. Deb, so sorry you've lost your beloved pet. Hugs.

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  10. Deb, this is so heartbreaking. Dogs are members of our family and we loved them deeply. We lost our 13.5 year old chocolate lab last spring. His memory will always be with us, just like yours will never leave you. Missy has crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and is barking and running with all the other dogs.

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  11. Sorry for your lost. You are right life does change in a second. Prays for God's comfort.

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