Any of you out there that not suffered self-doubt? No. We all have suffered from it. The writers who read this will be nodding and saying, 'Oh yes, I sometime think my writing is the worst.'
And for me, Barbara Phinney, I'm waiting on an answer for a proposal, fresh from realizing that sometimes, I get what kind of books Love Inspired wants to publish, and sometimes, I don't. I bounce back and forth between getting it and offering proposals that are better served lining the bottom of the bird cage.
Self doubt assails me so often. And being a female, (because this is more prevalent in females) I wonder if that person I spoke to hates me, or that 'please call back' message left on the answering machine is bad news.
I struggle, but if you were to meet me, and I hope we do meet someday, I will portray fun confidence and down to earth warmth.
But like Meryl Streep's character in Doubt, we have such doubts, all of us.
And as most of us do, I turn to God to help me. But as much as my brain knows that all of the prophets were assailed with doubts and pains often of their own making, I have trouble truly relating to them. They were men from a different time, after all. But their faith was always so strong, it seems to me.
Still I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone. So true that adage, "Misery loves company."
I also continue to remind myself how fortunate I am. How God so often comes along side me, especially on those dark and tiring mornings when I need to drag my sorry carcass outside to work! God gives me the strength. And if he gives me strength there, he must know what he's doing with my writing!
So during the sufferings I feel when I think I will be rejected yet again, or when my favorite book sells poorly, or when I read how well others are doing with their writing careers, I must think of that great verse from Romans.
"...rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, Hope. And Hope does not disappoint us..." (Rom.5:3-5 NIV)
Do you have self doubts? What are they? What are your coping skills? Is there a Bible verse that helps you?
And if you don't, bless you, and take heart that you are not alone. Not at all.