Friday, December 19, 2008

The Eighth Day of Christmas

On the Eighth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Eight Women Laughing
Seven flags a waving,
Six teens a texting,
Five sparkling Ipods
Four kissing frogs
Three chocolate bars
Two sparkling gems
And a flamingo in a tutu


Eight women laughing… I love it. I loved it from the moment I was assigned it. Of course, my original idea, boring, was to talk about what makes my eight best friends laugh. Then, I realized they all would give the same answer: me. Yup, I’m funny looking.

Ish.

So, I’m going to approach the eight women laughing from a different angle.

Did you know that the Price Index people (There really is a company out there that does this) estimated how much it would cost to surprise someone with the 12 days of Christmas. The cost, in 2008, would be $86,673. Yup, pretty amazing. Me, I’m thinking the Craftie Ladies of Romance are a bit more craftie.


First, there’s Margaret. Why is she laughing? Why? Well, because due to restrictions beyond the control of a mere human, it’s near impossible to purchase a live flamingo. We’ll have to do plastic. Cost: 4.99. Then, an even better bargain. Plastic flamingoes are not very big. I can buy a child’s tutu. From Capezio, I’m only going to pay 11.95. Margaret’s spending: 16.94. Way to go, Margaret.

Now, onto our big spender. That would be Missy. Why is she laughing? Well, what woman can decide on the perfect two sparkling gems? Hmmm, shall we do discount or go for the gusto? This is tough. But, hey, it’s Christmas. I decided in all fairness to type in “Sparking Gems” on Google. The first hits were all religious sites. Wow, pretty impressive. Also, apparently, there’s a YA series called Sparkling Gems. The first jewelry spot I found that utilized the term ‘sparkling gems’ was PAVE jewelry. First, we’ll have Missy purchase a diamond 1/7 carat pendant. Cost: 169. She’ll follow up with a gold buckle design ring. Cost 75.
Missy’s spending: 244.00. Way to go, Missy.


Next we have Valerie and three chocolate bars. Personally, I think Valerie got off easy so why is she laughing? Maybe because since it’s only day three, she has enough for herself, Missy, and Margaret. If Missy gets a chocolate high, Valerie can even borrow a sparkling gem for a night out on the town. Since it’s my day, we’re going for Snickers. My personal favorite. Did you know they were introduced in 1930. I can get them at my local grocery for 50 cents. Yup.
Valerie’s spending: 1.50. Way to go, Valerie


Poor Debbie got stuck with frogs. That’s okay. She writes about frogs turning into princes at some place called Mule Hollow. Good news is, frogs are easier to purchase than flamingos.

The first frog that came up on my search was the African Dwarf Frog. They truly are something to laugh at. Congrats, Debbie, you now own four. They only cost 1.99 each. Let me know what happens when you kiss one.
Debbie’s spending: 7.94. Way to go, Debbie.

Now we come to Lenora, who like so many of us look at the next generation and wonder if they remember how to talk to each other let alone laugh with each other. We worry they might be too busy texting or IPoding to even realize Brad Pitt just walked into the room! Five IPods seems a bit much for one person, but hey, if Lenora decides to jump on the IPod bandwagon, who are we to judge. Apparently Apple has something called the 2GB model (Hmmm, apparently I should be typing little i, big P, little od) iPod shuffle that is only 49. So, I’m timesing by 5.
Lenora’s spending 245. Way to go, Lenora.

(Hmmm, Lenora, I’m thinking sparkling gems are better than iPods, and Missy spent a whole dollar less than you).

Here we are with Linda. She has six teens a-texting. Personally, I’m glad they’re at her house. I’m a college professor. I have teens trying to text during class. Big hint to parents: this might be why they’re not passing. Actually, Linda is getting away lucky (Not as lucky as Valerie). Teens will go to any house for free if there’s food. I have it on good authority that Linda is quite a cook. Hey, I’m heading over there. Maybe Valerie will show up with her bars of chocolate. Teens cost nothing (unless they’re your own – and Linda doesn’t have six). So, no cost but pizza. Six kids, that equals three pizzas. Hmm, the first Dominoes I visited wanted me to type in personal information before it would give me a cost. Next Dominoes site was their job site. Linda is laughing and wondering if being a Dominoes delivery woman pays the same as being a Harlequin writing woman.
Finally, a Dominoes in St. Louis that is user friendly (Hmmm, St. Louis will not deliver to Phoenix. Go figure). 12.79 times three. Okay, now I need a calculator. Found one.
Linda’s total cost is 38.36. Way to go, Linda.

Here we come with Pat, who has seven flags a-waving. I own a flag. It’s in my grandmother’s display case. I received the flag over four years ago at my father’s funeral. See, he was a veteran. I can’t calculate the cost of that flag. Honor doesn’t have a price tag except in tears. Not much laughing here, but my father laughed enough for all of us. He was a great man and avid practical joker. So, let’s do the more traditional route. We’ll do the 12 by 18, canvas header and brass grommets, at 14.88. Yup, I’m back to my online calculator.
Pat’s total cost is 104.16. Way to go, Pat!

Now, there’s me. I have eight women laughing. I’m laughing. That’s one. I’m laughing because in the time it took me to do the above calculations, I could have written five pages. Pat is laughing because one flag is enough and she doesn’t even like to fold clothes. That’s two. Linda is laughing because after six teenagers leave your house and you clean up the pizza, laughing is better than crying. That’s three. Lenora’s laughing because she thinks it’s ridiculous that IPOD is spelled with a little i, a big P, and little od (me, too, Lenora, and that’s four). Debbie and Valerie are laughing because the frogs got loose and ate the chocolate bars. That’s five and six. Missy’s laughing because she knows that one of us didn’t get a royalty check big enough to buy two sparkling gems (grumble). That’s seven. Margaret’s laughing because she started this whole venture and didn’t realize that in just eight days the Craftie Ladies of Romance could spend 709.08.

So now you have it. Eight women laughing. Pam's total cost: Priceless. And, as Santa would say HO HO HO

21 comments:

Debra Clopton said...

PAM!!!! I'm really laughing now, that was soooo cute :)
You are one creative lady. By the way snickers are my favorite too. I watched a episode on the food network on them the other day and found out they were named after the family horse, Snickers. And it is the number one selling candy bar in the world so I guess we aren't alone in our love of them...also, the frogs didn't eat Val's bars I did :)
Merry Christmas everyone

PamelaTracy said...

Too cool. I'm so glad the family horse wasn't named something like Fat Pam or Yuckoo. LOL.

Pamela J said...

What fun, Pamela Tracy, to keep us all rolling on the floor laughing. But you can't count this Pamela J (me) or anyone else who reads your post for today because you don't know WE are laughing unless we write and tell you so. No wonder they call you among the Craftie ones, with this creativeness goin' on, no one should be surprised at whatever tomorrow brings.
Pam Williams
cepjwms at yahoo dot com

Pat Davids said...

Pam,
I really am laughing. I so hate to fold clothes!! How did you know? Have you been peeking in my laundry room? Am I on Santa’s naughty list now?

Speaking of flags and laugher. I once had a Shepard dog when we lived way out in the country on the Ninnescah river. Gerdie used to bring home a cut piece of firewood nearly every day. Each time I’d ask her, “Where did you get that?” She never gave up a clue. I'd add her piece to our woodpile and thank her with a pat on the head. After all, it was one more log I didn’t have to chop.

Now, our home was in a secluded area near a large sandbar on the river that seemed to be the perfect spot for necking teenagers and daring midnight skinny dippers.

Not me, or course, but you get the picture.

One morning, I walked out of the house and Gerdie sat by the front steps with a pair of underwear in her mouth. Men's size 34, brown, with a red and blue Union Jack flag across the back.

She looked so proud with her prize dangling in her teeth. Oh, oh, oh, how I wished that dog could talk. Imagine the scenarios that ran through my writer’s mind. I laughed so hard I had to sit down.

So flags and laughter can go hand in hand. Or hand in paw as the case may be. Thanks for sparking the memory, Pam.
I'll be chuckling all day.
Pat

EllenToo said...

Pam - what a way to start the day. I'm also laughing at your post. It was a great way to start the morning off.

Margaret Daley said...

Pamela, I loved your post. I laughed at loud and it felt so good. Laughter is great!!!

And I love Snickers, too. My favorite. There is even a Snicker Salad. Eating healthy and having Snickers. Can't beat that!

Margaret

PamelaTracy said...

Pamela,
Can we become great friends. The world doesn't have enough Pamelas.

PamelaTracy said...

Pat,
Tell me you'll put that in a book. Oh, my. My husband would have a term for the poor man who went home without his underwear, but I'm sure it's on the LI 'don't use' list.

PamelaTracy said...

Ellen,
I'm glad you're laughing.

PamelaTracy said...

Margaret,
I had so much fun with this post. I love what you created with the 12 days of Christmas. Wow. I'm thinking that you need to come up with something for January. I really did work days on the post, but I was having a blast.
And, don't you just love Debbie's frogs!

Janet Tronstad said...

Pamela -- You are too funny! I'm glad Margaret doesn't have to buy a real flamingo to satisfy -- it would be one struggle to get it into its tutu!

Cheri2628 said...

I am loving this series of articles about your own version of the 12 days of Christmas! Funny, cute, and heartwarming!

PamelaTracy said...

Janet,
I wasn't so much worried about Margaret getting that Flamingo into the tutu, but catching it to get it out!

Cheri,
We're so pleased that you stop by! We love visitors.

Keli Gwyn said...

Pamela,

What a clever post. I know you gave up writing time to create this, and I thank you for your sacrifice. You also gave me a smile, which is one of those priceless gifts. Well done!

Ausjenny said...

This is so fun and im laughing all the way from Australia.
Oh on frogs. Did you know in austalia we have chocolate frogs called freddo frogs made by cadbury and really yummy.
This has been so fun and started my morning well.
Thanks for the fun.

Missy Tippens said...

LOL, Pamela!! I got such a kick out of your post! So clever. :)

Talking about the cost of sparkling gems... I went into a jewelry store at the mall one time to get my ring cleaned and the prongs checked. I browsed while they cleaned my ring, and I tried on this GORGEOUS diamond ring. So I started thinking about 20th anniversaries, etc. And I asked the price. Weeeellll, I should have had a clue since a security guard was posted at the door. But still, I was blown away when she mildy said something like $120,000!! And, being the very proper southern lady that I am, I gave a snorting laugh and had her put it back. I do believe my hand shook as I handed it over.

So yeah, I found a gem I loved but it cost waaaay more than 244. :)

Thanks for the fun today, Pamela!! :)

PamelaTracy said...

Keli,
I'm glad I made you laugh. You know, I primarily write suspense and my critique group keeps making me take the humor out.

Jen,
You made me laugh when you wrote about starting your day and the time said 1 in the afternoon. By that time, I'd already been up 8 hours!

Missy,
I lose jewelry too much to ever encourage my husband to spend much. I'm on wedding ring number three, and we've been married seven years. Tonight, I'm in a hotel and there's one earring on the desk. I'm pretty sure the other earring is somewhere on the Polar Express.

Ausjenny said...

Pamela, I even got up early this morning a saturday too. I got up around 7am I think I know it was early for a Saturday.its now 8pmish Saturday night here.
I do love these post brightens the day.

Joan said...

Loved the post on the Eighth Day of Christmas. Very funny. I laughed out loud. Felt good. Merry Christmas.

Kammie said...

hahaha! and now I'm laughing! Thanks for the smiles. I'm glad I finally found time to catch up on the blogs.

PamelaTracy said...

Jen,
Austraila is on my list of TO-DOs. My next door neighbor, Fran, is from there and I love listening to her talk and to her stories (she has the whole neighborhood water conservative).

Joan and Kammie,
I was so lucky to draw Eight Women laughing. According to the comments, I got at least 12 women laughing: some for the second time!
Color me happy.