I have discovered a new word....it's called 'joypain.' My social media family assures me that this is really a thing. I experience this interesting emotion when I look at the above picture of my graduating senior. Oh! Errgh! Ouch! Yes, I'm happy, proud, thrilled that she is wearing that tassel, but there's a measure of pain too. All you mothers out there...do you get me? This kiddo (affectionately nicknamed named Yogi) was the reason I decided to pursue writing professionally. I hope I do not come off as a terrible mother with this confession, but I left my elementary teaching career to be a stay at home mom with Yogi and it was a lot harder than I thought. Of course I adored her, and of course I knew it was the right choice, but I'm a hyperactive kinda gal and I missed the creative, intense experience of the classroom so Papa Bear encouraged me to write. Thirty-five books later and here we are. I'm a bone fide author...and Yogi is a real live graduate.
Did I savor the moments of her childhood? Not as deeply as I should have. Did I make every moment count? Alas, I failed there as well. Would I love to have a 'redo' on some of the things that came out I of my mouth over the years? Oh, how I would crave such an opporunity, but we don't get those "revision" opportunities in parenting, do we?
So I sigh, I hug her, I take pictures and I experience the joypain of letting her go. Please tell me I'm not alone in this, ladies. Tell me about your joypain.