Is Life Controlling You?

Good day. Christina Rich, here, on an author's life.

If you follow any of us on social media, I'm sure you realize that we don't all live a glamorous life and are normal people with normal chaos. The other day as I was emptying out trash cans at work, a co-worker came up to me and simply asked, "Do you ever feel like life is controlling you?" I kind of laughed. I knew exactly what she was talking about. In the grand scheme of things I realize I have no control over certain aspects of my life. Like when I'll take that last earthly breath and enter Gloryland, but I totally understood what she was saying, and even though she asked the question, it was one of those loaded God nuggets. I could almost hear the dun-dun-dun music playing in the background as the narrator asks the audience, "How will Christina respond?"

Of course, I responded with my rendition of Psalm 119, and then I drew in a deep breath, and was like, YES!!! As a writer, my goal has always been to be a full-time author, which I had worked towards and was able to do. Until life interrupted and my husband passed away. Then I found myself with a part-time job, but I still continued to write. I was in the process of revising a proposal for Love Inspired Historical when, again, life interrupted, and I received the news that the line was closing. Circumstances outside of my control were controlling certain aspects of my life. BIG aspects of my life. I mean, in the matter of less than two years, my husband passed away, my kids moved out, my mother-in-law moved in, and I lost my publishing line. Oh, and did I mention, this former co-pastor/minister (due to the nudging of the Lord) left her church, too?

If I was writing a fictional story about my life, this is where I would insert the mid-life crisis scene, cut my hair off, buy a big floppy hat and a moo-moo, rent a cute little sports car and drive to the middle of nowhere. Probably an isolated beach in the middle of the Pacific--of course, I'd have to ditch the car and rent a boat--encounter a hero, a bulky muscled special forces guy that keeps life from interrupting my peace and happiness and serves me coconut water.

Back to reality

So, I've spent the last several days reflecting on my co-worker's question and spent some time analyzing my goals and my motivations, and possible conflicts that could possibly arise.  Sounds like I'm plotting a story. Of course, I can only truly plan for my goals and heart check my motivations.

I firmly believe that we are gifted with God-given talents, and I believe those are tied in with the desires of our heart, like becoming a published author. Scripture tells us in Psalm 37:4-5 that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart. Years ago, as I was out on a prayer walk with the Lord, I came to the understanding that if I delighted myself in the Lord, He would be my desire. Shortly after that revelation, when I set aside my obsession to become a published author I received a request and then a contract with Love Inspired.

The desires of my heart have changed, they are more eternity focused rather than earthly focused, but I still want to continue writing God-honoring stories and selling them. They have a purpose. The fictional stories I like to write show victory over adversity. They show heroes and heroines overcoming obstacles, growing their faith, or standing firm in their faith, and finding their happiliy-ever-after.

 After that simply question, I've decided I'm done with the pause button. I'm done with my goals being interrupted. As if I have any say about the interruptions, but I do have say in how I respond. I no longer want to be a cardboard character in my own life, which is how I feel I've been. I want to be an active participant. One who doesn't just allow life to happen and take over.

Have you ever had moments where you feel like life is controlling you? How did you handle it?