Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Is Life Controlling You?

Good day. Christina Rich, here, on an author's life.

If you follow any of us on social media, I'm sure you realize that we don't all live a glamorous life and are normal people with normal chaos. The other day as I was emptying out trash cans at work, a co-worker came up to me and simply asked, "Do you ever feel like life is controlling you?" I kind of laughed. I knew exactly what she was talking about. In the grand scheme of things I realize I have no control over certain aspects of my life. Like when I'll take that last earthly breath and enter Gloryland, but I totally understood what she was saying, and even though she asked the question, it was one of those loaded God nuggets. I could almost hear the dun-dun-dun music playing in the background as the narrator asks the audience, "How will Christina respond?"

Of course, I responded with my rendition of Psalm 119, and then I drew in a deep breath, and was like, YES!!! As a writer, my goal has always been to be a full-time author, which I had worked towards and was able to do. Until life interrupted and my husband passed away. Then I found myself with a part-time job, but I still continued to write. I was in the process of revising a proposal for Love Inspired Historical when, again, life interrupted, and I received the news that the line was closing. Circumstances outside of my control were controlling certain aspects of my life. BIG aspects of my life. I mean, in the matter of less than two years, my husband passed away, my kids moved out, my mother-in-law moved in, and I lost my publishing line. Oh, and did I mention, this former co-pastor/minister (due to the nudging of the Lord) left her church, too?

If I was writing a fictional story about my life, this is where I would insert the mid-life crisis scene, cut my hair off, buy a big floppy hat and a moo-moo, rent a cute little sports car and drive to the middle of nowhere. Probably an isolated beach in the middle of the Pacific--of course, I'd have to ditch the car and rent a boat--encounter a hero, a bulky muscled special forces guy that keeps life from interrupting my peace and happiness and serves me coconut water.


Back to reality

So, I've spent the last several days reflecting on my co-worker's question and spent some time analyzing my goals and my motivations, and possible conflicts that could possibly arise.  Sounds like I'm plotting a story. Of course, I can only truly plan for my goals and heart check my motivations.

I firmly believe that we are gifted with God-given talents, and I believe those are tied in with the desires of our heart, like becoming a published author. Scripture tells us in Psalm 37:4-5 that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart. Years ago, as I was out on a prayer walk with the Lord, I came to the understanding that if I delighted myself in the Lord, He would be my desire. Shortly after that revelation, when I set aside my obsession to become a published author I received a request and then a contract with Love Inspired.

The desires of my heart have changed, they are more eternity focused rather than earthly focused, but I still want to continue writing God-honoring stories and selling them. They have a purpose. The fictional stories I like to write show victory over adversity. They show heroes and heroines overcoming obstacles, growing their faith, or standing firm in their faith, and finding their happiliy-ever-after.

 After that simply question, I've decided I'm done with the pause button. I'm done with my goals being interrupted. As if I have any say about the interruptions, but I do have say in how I respond. I no longer want to be a cardboard character in my own life, which is how I feel I've been. I want to be an active participant. One who doesn't just allow life to happen and take over.

Have you ever had moments where you feel like life is controlling you? How did you handle it?


17 comments:

  1. Great blog, Christina! And an interesting question. I like to be in control and I struggle when I'm not, but once I gave God control of my life, then I relaxed. No matter what happens, He's guiding me, holding me, loving me. Yes, I still struggle...but the struggle is to know His will for my life. Usually he reveals himself in His perfect time!

    You're an amazing woman. You've been through so much but your eyes are on the Lord and He never disappoints!

    Hugs and prayers!

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    1. Thank you, Debby. You, among others have inspired me to keep my eyes on Jesus.

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  2. Beautiful post, Christina. Really got me thinking. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Christina, thanks for sharing your journey.

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  4. Great post. I think one reason I love writing is I get to control the world I create - I get to make all the wrongs right and make sure there is a happy ending. Life as taught me that there is no guarantee of tomorrow, so love today and trust in the Lord (I might have some trust issues lol) Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Yes! On the controlling another world, except I often find my characters taking over. I don't know that I have many trust issues. I'm kind of taking one day at a time. My mantra lately has been it'll all work out, and if it doesn't I'll be okay.

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  5. Wonderfully thought-provoking post, Christina! Thank you for sharing and prodding me to look closer at my own motivations. A great big hooray for walking with the Lord and stepping into the fullness of life He wants for you.

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    1. I think that we're so used to looking at our characters goals and motivations that we forget to examine ours. I had goals in life and somehow they disappeared when life changed. I know goals can change, but I've spent the last year and months just focusong on getting out of bed. I forgot about the other stuff. It's time I remember.

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  6. I liked what you said about hitting the pause button. Sometimes when life happens I need to breathe through it before I act.

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    1. Oh, yes! I've learned to do thatn and if I forget God has a way of putting certain people in my life to give me practice. It's all about walking in the Fruits of the Spirit, not the flesh.

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  7. Great blog post, Christina. I think we all have to hit the pause button and reflect from time to time. Writing is a great outlet and it's a honor for all of us to be able to share our inspirational stories with readers.

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    1. I'm trying to seriously get back to my writing. I think I have spent time writing stories that heal me, which is good n bit Ive flet stuck on the hamster wheel.

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  8. Thank you for being so open and honest. Yes, sometimes I do feel as if life is controlling me. But I have to remember that God is in control of life. So I have a little fit and then I get on with things and know that He will show me the way. You are amazing and I’m so proud of you.

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    1. At some point, before my husband passed, I decided to quit throwing little fits. I think I've had one or two since his passing, and none of it to do with him. One a coworker and tje second when I wasnt sure I could help care for my mother who had been battling a horrendous cough for months and be a full time care giver to my mother-in-law. It all worked out. God is so very good.

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  9. Touching post Christina. I’ve often felt like life was controlling me rather than the other way around.

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