I have discovered a new word....it's called 'joypain.' My social media family assures me that this is really a thing. I experience this interesting emotion when I look at the above picture of my graduating senior. Oh! Errgh! Ouch! Yes, I'm happy, proud, thrilled that she is wearing that tassel, but there's a measure of pain too. All you mothers out there...do you get me? This kiddo (affectionately nicknamed named Yogi) was the reason I decided to pursue writing professionally. I hope I do not come off as a terrible mother with this confession, but I left my elementary teaching career to be a stay at home mom with Yogi and it was a lot harder than I thought. Of course I adored her, and of course I knew it was the right choice, but I'm a hyperactive kinda gal and I missed the creative, intense experience of the classroom so Papa Bear encouraged me to write. Thirty-five books later and here we are. I'm a bone fide author...and Yogi is a real live graduate.
Did I savor the moments of her childhood? Not as deeply as I should have. Did I make every moment count? Alas, I failed there as well. Would I love to have a 'redo' on some of the things that came out I of my mouth over the years? Oh, how I would crave such an opporunity, but we don't get those "revision" opportunities in parenting, do we?
So I sigh, I hug her, I take pictures and I experience the joypain of letting her go. Please tell me I'm not alone in this, ladies. Tell me about your joypain.
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Hello everyone. Today we are trying something a little different for the blast from the past post.
ReplyDeletePlease join me in welcoming Dana Mentink to our blog today.
Dana has graciously offered to give away a copy of one of her books to her favorite post. So join in the fun because it's going to be a great day.
Yes, my husband and I experienced "joy pain" when our only son got married. We are joyous to have gained a wonderful daughter-in-love, and are thankful to God for their wonderful marriage. The pain came because they live so far away from us and we don't get to see them as much as we would like to see them. God is good. He provides trips back and forth from VA to SC, for them and for us. :-)
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ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, would I love a redo of several instances with our daughter. Too bad we can't. At least we can ask forgiveness. Now, we are pretty good friends. Love her emensely.
ReplyDeleteDana, I had a joy pain moment when our youngest son graduated from high school and went away to college. You realize then how much you miss all those moments together. But then the granddaughters came and I think they are God's way of giving do overs. Every single time they come out to see us, we devote the entire day to whatever they want to do. We're banking up precious memories for when they grow up.
ReplyDeleteI have two teenage girls, so I haven't had to do the marriage thing yet. Yogi Bear is going to go to a junior college so I get to enjoy her for a while longer. It's funny, isn't it, that we raise them up to be independent and then when they are, it's bittersweet!
ReplyDeleteMy mum has four adult children within 5 years and when we went off to college went with us to make sure we were settle. At times my dad would phone me n just say call your mother cause she was having a miss her kids moment. Eventually mum said to me did ur father tell u to call me n im like Nooo 😆
ReplyDeleteI experienced joy pain when our only child left for college. The first few months were simply awful but gradually, I agree used to her being gone. When she graduated from college, she came home for a short while before buying her own home so once again, I had to adjust. Now, because of unforseen circumstances, she and her 2 year old daughter are living with us. Quite an adjustment but also much joy but I know, that in the future, I will once again face a joy pain moment. But isn't that really what makes our lives so worthwhile? How can we recognize joy if we haven't experienced some pain?
ReplyDeleteConnie
cps1950(at)gmail(dot)com
Ah yes, know that joypain all too well. My youngest graduated from college and then decided to go farm in Ireland for 4 months. It was exciting to see her go, but I'd just gotten her back from college.
ReplyDeleteThey come and go now so I've gotten used to it, but it's nice when everyone is around.
Congrats and best wishes to Yogi!
You are all so sweet to share your joy/pain with me. I guess that's why God made women to be so strong!
ReplyDeleteI write full time with an 8 year old, and I do understand the mom-guilt. I adore him--think of him always--but I can't focus 100% of my creative energy at him. Writing is for me, and I crave that time to myself. Will I look back on this time when he's fresh-faced and energetic and wish I could have another chance to experience it? I probably will. But his job isn't to fill my heart and my days. His job is to grow and learn. So I love him deeply, and I WRITE!
ReplyDeleteMy youngest of four just walked the stage. After twenty years of being PTO mom, basketball mom, volleyball mom, theater mom, national history competition mom, football... on and on the job titles went with four very active kids. While I was a program director at the local YMCA then an art teacher - I started writing when my oldest was in high school...now that my youngest is moving out of the house? I told my agent I'm ready to write more. I will have so much time. Yes it is exciting to see them grow into amazing people. I also reflect on the things I might have missed - did I teach them everything they need to know - are they ready for life on their own? As he leaves high school one of my daughters leaves college. Life goes by so fast. I love the "On this day" in facebook - little moments in life I forgot come up and I get to smile at the memories and how far we have come. One thing I will never miss is waiting in the car line.
ReplyDeleteJolene, so true. Life does go fast. My oldest granddaughter will be turning 10 in August and she's starting to mature and I think, this can't be happening. She's still a baby because I remember all those little baby moments.
ReplyDeleteDana, Thanks for being here today.
Everyone. Thanks for sharing your joy pain moments.