Frustrated?

by Jean C. Gordon

According to the Calendar of Weird Holidays, today is International Moment of Frustration Day. Since we all have frustrating moments in our lives, I’m commemorating the day by sharing some ways to deal with frustration. The research I found universally recommends three core strategies.

Stay in the present

Frustration is often triggered or heightened by (1) wanting to jump to somewhere in the future and be done with the now or (2) reliving a failure in the past. What can you do to get yourself back to the present and reduce your frustration? Take stock of the things around you. Notice the sun shining through the window, the colors of the changing fall leaves, the laughter of your children playing, the smells of dinner cooking, a picture on the wall, the pattern on your bedspread, birds chirping outside, your cat chasing her tail. Taking a minute or two to ground yourself in your surroundings should get your attention back to the present.

Appreciate what you have

Once you’re back in the present, focus on what’s still positive in your life by making a list of important things you may take for granted—things like, a warm home and roof over your head, clean drinking water, food, books to read, access to the Internet, your family and friends.

Ask yourself what you can do right now

Now, that you’re calmer, you could try what you were doing one more time. Not all things in life come to you the first, second, or even third time. Or you might be able to take a small step in a different direction that will open up another way to achieve your goal. It’s also possible that you can’t do anything right now. You may have taken on too much and what you need to do is back off for a while, take the evening or a few days to relax, take care of yourself, and perhaps simplify a bit.

Turn to His Word

This one is mine. It’s what I do. I have a file on the laptop desktop with encouraging Bible versus for different situations that I can click open and read when I need encouragement. Putting this step first makes the other steps more successful. These are the versus in my file that I've found helpful for frustration.

Deuteronomy 31:6: So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:12-13: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is t have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any an every situation, whether fed or hungry. I can do everything through him who brings me strength.

What do you do when you’re frustrated?

“Mac” Macachek and Dana VanAlstyne, the hero and heroine in my October release, are in the frustrating position of seeing what they think they want most in life just out of their reach.

Physical therapist Dana VanAlstyne’s dreams of a family were lost in the dust of a motocross racecourse. Although she’s filled her life with her work and church activities, it hasn’t filled the empty space inside her. Nor has it eased the heartache of being abandoned by a man who wasn’t ready for a wife and children. Now her dream is to open her own private practice. All she needs is the capital to make that happen.

Anton, “Mac,” Macachek may be the top professional motocross racer in the country but he still has one race that matters more to him: winning a championship at Unadilla Raceway and showing the hometown folks the bad boy did amount to something. But when a horrific accident sidelines those plans, he makes a deal with the woman he once loved with all his heart. A woman who abandoned him. If Dana will get him back in racing shape, he’ll fund her new practice. Then an even more dangerous risk is revealed. If Mac races again, he could die.

Does Dana have enough faith to risk her heart again? She loved Mac once, but feared he loved motocross racing more than he loved her. If she helps him mend his broken body, will it also mend her broken heart? Or will it all be lost again in the dust and danger of a motocross racetrack?

TEAM MACACHEK: Meet the strong women and fearless men of the motocross circuit.

Buy Links: Amazon, Nook, iBooks, and Kobo

Meet the Donnelly Brothers

Hometown boys make good . . . and find love

 

Jared

A HOMETOWN REUNION

Single mom Becca Norton is surprised to discover her high school crush Jared Donnelly is back in town. The motocross champion hasn't been home in years, but the former bad boy is as gorgeous as she remembers. And his kindness toward her kids melts her heart. But when she learns his true purpose in town is to build a motocross school on land near her home, she has to put on the brakes. Her children's welfare is her priority, and her former in-laws have made it clear they don't approve of Jared or his plans. Soon Becca may have to choose between her heart…and her home.

Connor

THE PASTOR'S CHRISTMAS MATCH

Pastor Connor Donnelly is done with romance. After proposing to his high school sweetheart, Natalie Delacroix, five years ago—and being turned down—he's putting all his time and energy into his community. He's determined to make the Christmas pageant he's directing a success. But family and friends are set on fixing up the good-looking bachelor in time for the holidays. And now that Natalie is back in Paradox Lake—and helping with the pageant—they might just succeed. Because working so closely with Natalie stirs up old feelings…and Connor starts to hope for a second chance with the one who got away. 

Josh 
FALLING FOR THE BACHELOR
Tessa Hamilton never imagined the hardest part of having her best friend help renovate her small-town movie theater would be keeping her heart safe. She can't fall for a man who has no interest in a serious relationship with any woman…and who doesn't know the secret she hides. Besides, Josh Donnelly is too eager to leave Paradox Lake—especially when his estranged father returns. Tessa struggles with the turmoil, but as she falls deeper for the bachelor, she knows she must be honest if there's any chance for them. But will telling Josh put everything at risk—including their friendship?

Order

Sign up for Jean's Newsletter

Changes

Do I look different? I’ve recently made a big change in my life. Some people like to do new and daring things to add excitement to their days. I’m more of a read in a book about people doing those things and making life-altering changes person. I don’t do unexpected change well.

But I know change is inevitable, and the change I've made is one I planned, wanted to do, and have prayed about for a while. The change? On April 17, I left the company I've worked for since I finished college 36 years ago to become a full-time author/freelance writer. (Yes, I graduated college at age four.) I had originally wanted to make the move about four years ago, but it turned out that wasn’t the right time. It's new and exciting and kind of scary. We have these habits we need to finance like eating and having a warm, dry place to live.

And I've been busier than ever the past couple of weeks with writing a proposal for the third book in my new Love Inspired series "The Donnelly Brothers: Hometown boys make good. . . and find love," which I put off because I was working so many house at my day job getting everything wrapped up. And I had line edits on the second book, Holiday Homing, and promotion for the first book, Winning the Teacher's Heart, which has been showing up in stores this week.

Jared Donnelly in Winning the Teacher's Heart is a little like me. He's recently retired at the top from motocross racing to start an new endeavor,building a “Big Brother/Sister” motocross school for fatherless and under privileged children in the hometown he left 15 years ago. He wants to open their hearts to Christ and introduce them to the opportunities racing opened to him. Only his change is likely to tear the heroine Becca Norton's world apart. I don't expect my change to cause anything so earth-shattering.

What kind of changes have you experienced recently?