Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Birthdays-How do you feel about them?

Terri Reed here and yesterday was my birthday. I kept telling my kids, its just another day. And to me it is. I don't get sentimental or start reflecting on the past year (I save that for New Years).
But my kids, and my husband, wanted to mark the day as special. And truth be told, I mark their birthdays as special so I guess it stands to reason they'd want to 'celebrate' mine.
As a kid my birthday was stressful because it usually fell on the last day of school and I didn't like having attention drawn to me. I was painfully shy as a child. Any time the spotlight was on me(other than when I was on stage) I felt physically ill and couldn't get words out. You're probably wondering about my 'on stage comment'. Well, I loved to act. I still do. When you're acting, its not you they see, but a character. As I grew older I learned to be my own character. The person I wanted to be, but was too afraid to be and as time went by, I did become that person. I'm not shy now. Reserved, sometimes too quiet still, but over all, I'm not afraid to take the spotlight even when I'm not on stage.
So how do you feel about your birthday?


Coming in July, the first book of my new series

9 comments:

Teresa said...

(Belated) Happy Birthday, Terri!
I must say I don't like my birthday. I always joke that the day I'm very rich I'll be travelling to Australia leaving on the 24th and arriving there already on the 26th and skip my birthday ordeal - with people greating, congratulating and the all show that is surely well meant but doesn't "work" for me.
I don't like my birthday because until I was around 8 I thought I didn't have a birthday date like everyone else. The Aunts and Grandma that raised me didn't make a big fuss about "my day". They usually said "it's your birthday" in the same tone they said "make sure you wear your hat on the sun" - so no cake, no presents, no confetti... only when my parents returned from abroad and I went to live with them (well, the first year with them my birthday was even more traumatic because my father was coming for my birthday and my aunts and grandma decided to bake a cake, but then he decided to stay in another town celebrating a cousin's birthday and didn't came for mine) but like I was saying after moving with them they insisted in celebrating the day and I absolutely hated all that attention and all those people filling the house for what-was-supposed-to-be my party. Awful! So, well grown up, already with my first kid I confronted my mother I told her "I don't want a cake and I certainly don't want a party for my birthday!" because by then they expected me to deliver the parties in my house and invite who they thought should attend... so I ended slaving before, during and after a party I not even wanted. First year, big trauma and how ungrateful I was... the following year ressentment but now I celebrate how I feel like wanting. My hubby, my lovely husband, doesn't like my reaction to the date but understands and respects. And patiently waits for me to say if I want to go out for Dinner, if I want to quietly stay in, or if I want to have a party. Kids, my lovely kids, also accept it and from very young they draw things and write lines saying Happy Birthday Mum that they leave next to the clothes I'm going to wear, or they put inside my purse, or put somewhere I can find when returning from work. And I think this is the first time I ever told anyone about the why... sorry for the long testament.

Wishing you a huge success on your new book!

PamelaTracy said...

Happy Birthday, one day late.

Terri Reed said...

Teresa, its good sometimes to get it out. I can understand how you feel.
What a wonderful husband and children you have. That is a gift to be thankful for.
And I've realized I need to be setting a better example to my children. I don't ever want them to feel that their day isn't special. Though as a mother, I celebrate their births because the day they each were born is a wonderful, blessed day in my life.
Take care.

Teresa said...

Oh but I, we, all celebrate Dad's and Kid's Birthdays. And I enjoy it very much - the planning, the fun, and the comfort of friends and family wrapping up my loves. My younger (12) is still in the phase of 20+ friends with the entire show - swimming pool, barbecue and in the past years camping in the garden at night. My eldest (20) is for more subdued parties with dinner for a selected few and then they go to the cinema or something.

It's funny because they don't pity me, they just accept that's the way I want mine.

I tell them this favorite quote:

"Believing hear, what you deserve to hear:
Your birthday to me is dear...
But yours gives most; for mine did only lend
Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend."

Terri Reed said...

What a lovely quote. Thank you for sharing.

Therese said...

Happy Birthday! It is cause to celebrate the choice to be born and live!

Ausjenny said...

happy belated birthday. It my mums 92 birthday today.

I love my birthday and doing something. when I turned 30 it was a day that I dont want to repeat. it was such a downer so after that I decided to make my own arrangements and go out for lunch with friends or something. this year a lady took me out for a nut sunday without the nuts. My friend whos birthday is after mine said she wasn't bothering with birthdays except speacial ones. well she got to work and they gave her a cake and she loved it decided it is worth remembering. I guess I didn't have bad memories except my 30th. we didn't get embarrassed at school like you were. At church they would sing happy birthday and I would make sure I left before this happened cos I dont like being singled out either.

Terri Reed said...

Theresa, thank you for the birthday wish. I do choose to live and savor all the moments. Hope all is well with you.

Terri Reed said...

Ausjenny, a nut sunday without the nuts is how I like them too! Thank you for the birthday wish. My family took me to dinner last night and sang Happy Birthday to me. Luckily I was feeling fat and happy after eating a order of my favorite pot stickers that I didn't even mind. Yum.