Sunday, March 22, 2009

Friendships that turn

We've had a good month talking about frienship and so I'm going to bring up the not-so-good part of things -- they way friendships sometimes turn sour. I have had that happen with one or two friendships in my life (more so in my younger years, but I don't know if that's usual). I remember one woman who was my friend
for years -- until I sold my first book. Then she just couldn't continue to be my friend. She had worked for years (much longer and harder than I had) on getting published and when I got a contract before her, she didn't want to talk to me, see me, or anything. I decided to back off thinking maybe she just needed more space. But she never was able to be around me after that. I had thought my success would encourage her, but it seemed to be the opposite. How about you? Have you ever come to an roadblock in a friendship that you just couldn't get past?


  1. It's so sad to lose a friend. I wish your friend could have rejoiced with you, Janet. I lost a special friend whom I enjoyed discipling after she was saved. Her husband beat her one night and she ended up in the hospital. She turned away from everyone in shame. I tried in so many ways to reach her but it wasn't to be. It broke my heart. I still pray for her even though it's been many years and we live thousands of miles apart.

  2. Mez -- That is heartbreaking too, isn't it? There are so many things that can keep friends apart. Sometimes praying is all we can do.

  3. Mez, that's so sad. I sure hope she was able to get out of that situation. Maybe something you did or said ended up encouraging her to be strong.


  4. Hello Janet:

    Friendships often exist because of a commonality of interests. When that commonality is shattered friendships can drift apart as an individual’s interests realign. This sometimes happens when one friend is promoted to a higher rank, as when one solider is promoted to NCO. It also happens when one is widowed or when one marries and has children and the other remains a single career person. I don’t view this as a friend ‘turning’ on the other; I see it as a natural process of ‘drift’.

    Your success may have highlighted your friend’s failures. She could be truly happy for you but being with you could be a source of unhappiness or even pain for her. This is indeed her problem as it goes to her emotional maturity but then none of us are perfect. I think this is why it is so very difficult to make a true lifetime friend and why a true friend is such a treasure.


  5. Vince -- Thanks for your words -- I do like the word drift better than turn. You are right -- a lifelong friend is a treasure.

    Missy -- it was sad, wasn't it?