Long-distance Friends

I often envy people who have lived in a place for many years and have good friends—friends they have known for years—whom they see all the time. I've moved a lot, so many of the friends I have known for years all live some place else. I've lived in South Dakota, Montana, Washington State, Tennessee, Ohio, Georgia, Massachusetts, Texas, Illinois and Florida. I have collected friends from all those states, but I rarely get to see them. That's the sad part and thus my envy of those who get to see friends on a regular basis.

I have a large Christmas card list filled the names of friends we rarely see. I catch up with them this one time of the year. However, because I moved so much, I lost track of some of them over the years. Some of them have moved as well. I often wonder what happened to the couple that we used to play cards with every week when we were first married and living in a small town in Ohio over thirty years ago. She gave me a recipe for pizza dough that I still use to this day, and I get raves on my homemade pizza thanks to that recipe.

We met another couple in that same small town and fortunately, even with all our moves, we have managed to stay in contact. I attribute this to the fact that the men both worked in the healthcare field and had mutual business interests that kept them in touch through the years. We have been on numerous vacations together, and we always have a great time. When we get together, we just pick up where we left off.

When we lived in the Atlanta area, we found some good friends at our church who have a daughter the same age as one of our daughters. Although we don't see each other very often, we have attended the weddings of each others' children and have shared a lot of games of Trivial Pursuit. Last spring they were kind enough to let me stay with them at their place up in the north Georgia mountains so I could do research for my book, Homecoming Blessings, that comes out in April this year.

When we lived in Dallas, we had a group of friends that were in our small group Bible study each week. We had a bond because we were all the parents of teenagers. All of those teenagers are adults, and now we parents share photos of weddings and grandchildren.

I have maintained contact with one of my best friends from high school. Whenever I'm in the Spokane area, we get together. What a treat! She helped me with the research for my book, Love Walked In. I have reconnected with a number of friends who happened to learn about my books. Two of these folks helped me with the research on my January book, Mommy's Hometown Hero. I am amazed at how God worked to bring me in contact with people from my past just when they had the information I needed.

Just a few days ago, I received an e-mail from a fellow teacher, who taught across the hall from me when we were living in Georgia. She just happened to see my book on the shelf at the grocery store and recognized my name. It was wonderful to find out about the things she has been doing since we moved away.

I thank God for all the people he has brought into my life and the friendships I have made in each stop I've made in my life. Whenever I start to envy those who have long-time friends living right where they do, I realize I wouldn't have friends spread across the country if it weren't for the fact that I have moved so many times. Also, He has brought me my many long-distance writing friends.

Tell us about some of your long-distance friends.
Merrillee

Friendship and shoes

Okay, this is Lenora. You knew I'd have to have some shoes in there, right? I have lots of good friends now. It's such a blessing to have girlfriends. (I'll get to the shoes in a minute.) When I was growing up, it seemed hard for me to make friends at school. I was the country bumpkin who didn't hang with the social set in our small town. I guess I was an outcast, but that's okay. Because I was alone with my thoughts a lot, I think it helped me to become a writer. Anyway, I was the youngest of seven children. So I was what I call a "lonely child." I was also very shy (hard to believe for those who know me now.) I had a few good friends growing up but when I got married and moved away from that small town and the farm, I discovered I'd have to reach out to people if I wanted friends. But I truly found a pack of friends when I got involved in church after being away for a few years. There I met a group of women over twenty years ago who are still my friends now. We've watched our children grow up together, we've been through births and weddings and funerals together and we've laughed and cried together. We've even had fights and disagreed with each other but we're still friends. I had to learn that having a friend doesn't mean you'll have someone just like you and that friends don't have to be perfect. And, neither do I. You know you have a good friend when you try on clothes together and one of you gets stuck in a strange "girdle" type undergarment or a too tight cocktail dress. Only a true friend would help out in that kind of situation, after she stopped laughing, of course. You know you have a true friend when one of you gets food poisoning and the other one is willing to nurse you until you feel better. And you know you have a true friend when you go shoe shopping and try to hide the evidence from your husband and she whispers, "You can put those shopping bags in my trunk for now if you want to." You know you have a true friend when she takes the time to lather you with sunscreen at the beach so you won't burn. And you know you have a true friend when you get stopped for speeding and she leans over and says to the nice officer "Do you know you're about to give a ticket to a famous writer, sir?" and somehow convinces him to give you just a warning. These are just some of the adventures I've had with my friends. And some adventures shall remain a secret until we all die! But that's the beauty of friends. They're like shoes--some are as comfortable as your old sandals, others are all girly and dressy and ready to take on the world, some are warm and fuzzy like your favorite bedroom slippers and some are as solid and sturdy as your favorite walking shoes. Friends, just as shoes, come in all colors and shapes and styles. Isn't it nice to know that no matter what kind of day you're having, you can call an old friend and most likely she'll come running to be there for you. This is the beauty of frienship....."our sandals have become old because of the very long journey"--Joshua 9:13 Even though our sandals might now be old, our friendships have become rich with memories and the patina of a lasting love. And this journey of friendship will continue to evolve and grow through laughter and tears. And a few shoe clearance sales, too.

Lenora :)

Old Friends are New Part 2

Missy Tippens again, continuing with part two of my post from yesterday. I'd like to introduce you to my good friend, Lindi Peterson. I did an interview with Lindi about friendship. And as I promised, she dishes a little "dirt" on me. :)

M: What do you consider the most important characteristic of a good friend?

L: Loyalty.

M: What things do you have in common with your best friends?

L: Faith, laughter, interests, compassion, willing to listen when a friend needs it.

M: What are your favorite activities to do with friends?

L: Get together and hang out and talk. I love writers retreats with my writer friends, I love bowling with my friends, I love family reunions where I can see my family. Generally I really like being around people.

M: Okay, I promised you'd tell something funny or embarrassing about me. So I give you permission to share. :)

L: I hope this isn't too embarrassing but I love how we can room together because I sleep through anything and apparently you snore, but I don't hear you---oh, unless you scream in your sleep--now that I do hear!! I would like to add that it's easy being friends with you (Missy!). We have so much in common, we can talk about anything. I feel like you are one of those people in my life whom I can turn to for anything at anytime. I get excited for you--am sad when you are---I really enjoy being such close friends with you.

Missy here again. Okay, so she softened the embarrassing info with kind words. Nice move. :)

It's wonderful to have such a good friend who I can call on for prayer, for advice, for encouragement and support. Thank you, Lindi, for being on our blog today!

Now for our readers... What do you consider the most important characteristic of a good friend?

Old Friends are New Part 1

Hi. Missy Tippens here. I had the craziest thing happen a few years ago. But let me back up even further... Nearly 20 years ago, I had a friend named Belinda (Lindi) Peterson in my Sunday school class. And I really liked being around her on Sundays and at class social functions. But then she moved and I moved, and we lost touch.

Now, jump ahead about 7 years. I had been writing romance for a while. And I had joined Romance Writers of America, then Georgia Romance Writers, my local RWA chapter. One Saturday at a meeting, I looked up and saw someone who looked so familiar. And the name Lindi popped into my head. It was her! We were so shocked to see each other. Neither of us knew that the other one was a writer.

And then began a great friendship. Eventually, we ended up in a weekly critique group together. And we began attending conferences and rooming together. We brainstorm and critique together. We talk on the phone a couple of times a week. And even though we live two hours apart now, we try to get together whenever we can. We know we'll usually see each other once a month because we serve together on the board of our local chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers. And of course we usually email almost daily!

I'll be a substitute poster tomorrow, so I'm going to share a short interview I did with Lindi about friendship. I hope you'll come back. She tells a secret on me! :)

So, now your turn. What do you do if you have friends who don't live near you? How do you keep in touch? How often do you get together? Has distance been hard on your friendship?

Missy

There is no friend like....

There is no friend like an old friend
Who has shared our morning days,
No greeting like his welcome,
No homage like his praise.
Fame is a scentless sunflower
With gaudy crown of gold,
But friendship is the breathing rose
With sweets in every fold. --Anonymous

I am a thrift shop-rummange sale aficionado. I found a framed picture made to look like an old cross-stitched sampler with this brief poem. I love these lines of verse because to me they gives the essence of friendship.

As Janet said in her post yesterday, there is a line where an acquaintance becomes a friend. And then ever after--that person is endowed with a special importance in our lives. What they think about us matters more than what countless others think of us. Their praise means the most. Their disappointment can cut us deeper. What hurts them, hurts us. What makes them happy, makes up happy.

And I love the last two lines because they portray how empowering, yet how private and powerful the effect of true friendship is.