Looking back, there were blessings during that time. Conversations and bonding happened between distant family members. I solidified with my step-grandmother how important she was to my daughters as they had never known my biological maternal grandmother as she had died when my oldest was not even six months old.
I think it's natural to ask and wonder why we are suffering. Whether illness, loss of job, loss of dreams, loss of income . . . name any type of hardship you want here. However, more often times than not, when looking back, there is some sort of blessing in the tragedy. Most often times, it has pulled us closer to God. It's helped us to recognize His domain over our lives-- that really He is the one in control (all control freaks-- you can get in my pick-up truck. This is my daily battle).
I've suffered with migraines for years. I'm doing much better now, but there are still times that they get the better of me. This was the case a few weeks ago. I had worked several night shifts and still had one more to go when I woke up in the afternoon with a crushing headache. I've never called out sick for a headache-- let alone a migraine-- but there wasn't a way I could battle through another twelve hours with that pain. Graciously, my manger let me stay home without it counting as a sick call because another nurse was able to cover.
About 10:30pm, my youngest yells down from the top of the stairs with complaints of not being able to sleep. She wants to "snuggle". Now, she is fourteen, but whatever-- I'll take these moments when I can get them. After she was settled in, she immediately begins to cry. Fifteen minutes later, I'm able to coax out of her what's been going on. She says, "Mom, I'm so glad you were home and that you were up."
Which I wouldn't have been if I'd woken up headache free.
All I could think was, "This is the reason for my pain. This is why I'm home tonight."
And I was grateful in that moment.
Recently, a friend of mine broke her arm. Because of that injury, she was able to go on a trip with her husband who needed her support emotionally. An oncology nurse once told me cancer was a blessing. I was flabbergasted and asked her why. Her statement, "In emergency medicine, death is sudden and unexpected. In oncology, we have time to say goodbye."
It may not happen right away, that clear vision that hindsight represents, but look for it during those times of hardship no matter what the season. Always remember, God does not abandon His people.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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