On the Eighth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Eight Women Laughing
Seven flags a waving,
Six teens a texting,
Five sparkling Ipods
Four kissing frogs
Three chocolate bars
Two sparkling gems
And a flamingo in a tutu
Eight women laughing… I love it. I loved it from the moment I was assigned it. Of course, my original idea, boring, was to talk about what makes my eight best friends laugh. Then, I realized they all would give the same answer: me. Yup, I’m funny looking.
Ish.
So, I’m going to approach the eight women laughing from a different angle.
Did you know that the Price Index people (There really is a company out there that does this) estimated how much it would cost to surprise someone with the 12 days of Christmas. The cost, in 2008, would be $86,673. Yup, pretty amazing. Me, I’m thinking the Craftie Ladies of Romance are a bit more craftie.
First, there’s Margaret. Why is she laughing? Why? Well, because due to restrictions beyond the control of a mere human, it’s near impossible to purchase a live flamingo. We’ll have to do plastic. Cost: 4.99. Then, an even better bargain. Plastic flamingoes are not very big. I can buy a child’s tutu. From Capezio, I’m only going to pay 11.95. Margaret’s spending: 16.94. Way to go, Margaret.
Now, onto our big spender. That would be Missy. Why is she laughing? Well, what woman can decide on the perfect two sparkling gems? Hmmm, shall we do discount or go for the gusto? This is tough. But, hey, it’s Christmas. I decided in all fairness to type in “Sparking Gems” on Google. The first hits were all religious sites. Wow, pretty impressive. Also, apparently, there’s a YA series called Sparkling Gems. The first jewelry spot I found that utilized the term ‘sparkling gems’ was PAVE jewelry. First, we’ll have Missy purchase a diamond 1/7 carat pendant. Cost: 169. She’ll follow up with a gold buckle design ring. Cost 75.
Missy’s spending: 244.00. Way to go, Missy.
Next we have Valerie and three chocolate bars. Personally, I think Valerie got off easy so why is she laughing? Maybe because since it’s only day three, she has enough for herself, Missy, and Margaret. If Missy gets a chocolate high, Valerie can even borrow a sparkling gem for a night out on the town. Since it’s my day, we’re going for Snickers. My personal favorite. Did you know they were introduced in 1930. I can get them at my local grocery for 50 cents. Yup.
Valerie’s spending: 1.50. Way to go, Valerie
Poor Debbie got stuck with frogs. That’s okay. She writes about frogs turning into princes at some place called Mule Hollow. Good news is, frogs are easier to purchase than flamingos.
The first frog that came up on my search was the African Dwarf Frog. They truly are something to laugh at. Congrats, Debbie, you now own four. They only cost 1.99 each. Let me know what happens when you kiss one.
Debbie’s spending: 7.94. Way to go, Debbie.
Now we come to Lenora, who like so many of us look at the next generation and wonder if they remember how to talk to each other let alone laugh with each other. We worry they might be too busy texting or IPoding to even realize Brad Pitt just walked into the room! Five IPods seems a bit much for one person, but hey, if Lenora decides to jump on the IPod bandwagon, who are we to judge. Apparently Apple has something called the 2GB model (Hmmm, apparently I should be typing little i, big P, little od) iPod shuffle that is only 49. So, I’m timesing by 5.
Lenora’s spending 245. Way to go, Lenora.
(Hmmm, Lenora, I’m thinking sparkling gems are better than iPods, and Missy spent a whole dollar less than you).
Here we are with Linda. She has six teens a-texting. Personally, I’m glad they’re at her house. I’m a college professor. I have teens trying to text during class. Big hint to parents: this might be why they’re not passing. Actually, Linda is getting away lucky (Not as lucky as Valerie). Teens will go to any house for free if there’s food. I have it on good authority that Linda is quite a cook. Hey, I’m heading over there. Maybe Valerie will show up with her bars of chocolate. Teens cost nothing (unless they’re your own – and Linda doesn’t have six). So, no cost but pizza. Six kids, that equals three pizzas. Hmm, the first Dominoes I visited wanted me to type in personal information before it would give me a cost. Next Dominoes site was their job site. Linda is laughing and wondering if being a Dominoes delivery woman pays the same as being a Harlequin writing woman.
Finally, a Dominoes in St. Louis that is user friendly (Hmmm, St. Louis will not deliver to Phoenix. Go figure). 12.79 times three. Okay, now I need a calculator. Found one.
Linda’s total cost is 38.36. Way to go, Linda.
Here we come with Pat, who has seven flags a-waving. I own a flag. It’s in my grandmother’s display case. I received the flag over four years ago at my father’s funeral. See, he was a veteran. I can’t calculate the cost of that flag. Honor doesn’t have a price tag except in tears. Not much laughing here, but my father laughed enough for all of us. He was a great man and avid practical joker. So, let’s do the more traditional route. We’ll do the 12 by 18, canvas header and brass grommets, at 14.88. Yup, I’m back to my online calculator.
Pat’s total cost is 104.16. Way to go, Pat!
Now, there’s me. I have eight women laughing. I’m laughing. That’s one. I’m laughing because in the time it took me to do the above calculations, I could have written five pages. Pat is laughing because one flag is enough and she doesn’t even like to fold clothes. That’s two. Linda is laughing because after six teenagers leave your house and you clean up the pizza, laughing is better than crying. That’s three. Lenora’s laughing because she thinks it’s ridiculous that IPOD is spelled with a little i, a big P, and little od (me, too, Lenora, and that’s four). Debbie and Valerie are laughing because the frogs got loose and ate the chocolate bars. That’s five and six. Missy’s laughing because she knows that one of us didn’t get a royalty check big enough to buy two sparkling gems (grumble). That’s seven. Margaret’s laughing because she started this whole venture and didn’t realize that in just eight days the Craftie Ladies of Romance could spend 709.08.
So now you have it. Eight women laughing. Pam's total cost: Priceless. And, as Santa would say HO HO HO
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