Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What makes a marriage last?

Pat Davids here.

It’s quite a question, isn’t it? What makes a marriage last? I’m a romance writer. I should have the answer to that one, shouldn’t I?

Not really. I write about falling in love. Not about staying in love.

The couple in the picture with me are my parents. Clarence and Joan Stroda. They’re celebrating 60 years together this month. That’s quite an accomplishment.

I think it’s my mother’s smile that has kept them together. Isn’t she the cutest little Bohemian Grandmother? The spiffy dude is my dad. Tough, funny, hardworking. A born and bred farmer who’s still out in the fields every day. He told me once he never planned to retire because people who retire die. He's a stubborn man.

There’s always a lot of laughter in my family. I think laughter is a big part of that special glue that keeps couples together. That, and pure stubbornness. The good Lord gave me a large potion of both.

My husband and I are heading toward 37 years together. On our 10th anniversary, he looked at me and said, “Thanks for seven wonderful years, Pat.”
I said, “Honey, it’s been ten years.”
He said, “I know, but three of them were dreadful.”
I knew which ones he was talking about. They were tough years but we were too stubborn to quit. And you know what? Things got better.

So what do you think it takes to keep a marriage going for sixty years?


  1. I'd say stubborn too! Or you could say fortitude :-) Either way if you refuse to give up your chances are much greater!

  2. Did you laugh at your husband when he made the comment of 7 years? Of course, I understood. My hubby and I have experienced that. We're coming up on 40. Of course you must realize I was a baby when we married.

  3. Jules.
    So true in marriage and in life.

  4. Leann, you bet I laughed. My husband has had some health issue and he likes to say, "I don't know why you keep me around."
    I tell him the truth. It's because he makes me laugh and that makes me love him.

  5. Perseverance. I have told our kids there were three times in our marriage when we needed help or we weren't going to make it. We hit 30 this year and look back at those "dreadful" years as the ones that made our bonds stronger. Forged by the fire!

    Blessings your way, Julie

  6. What a sweet photo! Tell them happy anniversary from all of us! :)


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