Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Love Always Trusts

I love those verses from Corinthians about love and how appropriate during the month we celebrate love. And one key ingredient in a love relationship is trust. Without it a marriage, a friendship or any kind of relationship will not thrive and often it will not survive. Trust starts with trusting in the Lord. If we can put our trust in Him, after that everything is gravy.

As a writer I've used the trust theme a lot in a story because it is such a big issue in a relationship. Some people give trust easily, others sparingly. Some people will forgive and trust the other again, some won't. Once a person breaks a trust, that's it. Trust is simple but also at the same time complex (like love is). The Webster dictionary says it is having confidence in a person's honesty and integrity. Wow! When you trust someone, that means a lot. So destroying that trust is a big thing. Notice how close trust and truth are--their first three letters are even the same.

So like the cat that trusted it's owner not to harm him ( and having three cats, being put in water feels like being harmed to them), you have my trust until you do something to lose it. But then there is always forgiveness and that is a whole another aspect of love for another day.

How hard is it to trust for you? How do you deal with it when someone breaks your trust?


  1. I adore the cat!
    I agree about trust. I'm thinking about the book I'm mailing off tomorrow and how both my h and h didn't know how to trust.

  2. There is a saying that sometimes comes up in philosophy class:

    “A cat that sits on a hot stove will never sit on a hot stove again. It won’t sit on a cold one, either.”

    I think of this as the ‘cat’ effect.

    Because the heroine could not trust Bill, she won’t trust Tom, Dick, or Harry either. Because the heroine’s father was so trustworthy, she naively trusts the wrong men.

    I love the cat picture! It’s just perfect…or should I say purr-fect? Sorry, I couldn’t help it. ;)


  3. Margaret I used to be way more trusting than I am now. I think I've shifted to be somewhat jaded.

    When someone breaks my trust is is very hard for me to extend it again. Only through prayer am I able. And sometimes wisdom dictates that I don't trust the person too readily if they're a repeat offender. LOL!

    Great post. Very thought-provoking.

  4. I no longer am able to trust as easily as I use to. Having been stabbed in the back too many times in my life after trusting.

  5. Vince, that happened to my cat. She went to close to a hot burner and now avoids it completely.
    Pamela, I use trust as an issue a lot. It's so important in a relationship.
    Cheryl and Ellen, I sometimes think I'm too trusting--at least until someone breaks that trust.

  6. Margaret -- this is a thought-provoking blog. I'm like Vince's cat -- slow to trust. Sometimes I wish it happened quicker, but I tend to test the waters for a while first before I jump in.

  7. Thoughtful post, Margaret. And that poor kitty !! Looks just like my Moses !! (except I would NEVER put him in water!).
    Blessings, Patti Jo

  8. Great photo!!!! Oh my goodness. I'm like Cheryl, I used to be more trusting that I am now as well. I got burned a few times, it makes me skiddish a little.

    I use my sweet hubby as a barameter almost. It's like he can read people better. But then I sometimes feel like a I judging if I hold back thinking I'll get hurt???

  9. Great post, Margaret! It truly is hard to trust again once trust is lost. And I like how you linked it to truth. Thanks for sharing.

    Vince, I died laughing over your saying (and at your little funny). I'd never heard that saying before about the cat. Love it!!


  10. Philosophical Observation

    Reading these comments I’m inclined to think that ‘trust’ is asymmetrical between the sexes. I think trust is a far more important issue with women than it is with men. Women have traditionally been dependent – especially when they worked in the home. The possibility of being betrayed and abandoned with no employable skills and two small children to support is terrifying. The same for being abandoned and left pregnant by a man who promised to marry you – it just seems to me that women face much greater ‘trust’ challenges in their lives.

    A scene from the Godfather comes to mind in this respect. Michael was acting as Godfather when his wife demands to know if he had is brother-in-law killed. Michael becomes very serious and says that he will tell her ‘just this one time; but she is never to ask about business again. He says, “I had nothing to do with the killing” Well, he was lying. He ordered the killing. His wife sighed and relaxed like a great weight was removed from her shoulders.

    I’ve talked to men who have admired that scene. When I got married an older man at the office came over to tell me to remember that scene from the Godfather: “Women don’t want the truth,” he said, “they want reassurance.”

    That man is now on his third wife.

    I say all this because I think in some romances the ‘trust’ issue with the hero just does not ring true to me as a man. I think a man is much more likely to get off the ground, dust himself off, and get back on the horse, if he is thrown by love.

    What do you think? As writers do you think the ‘trust’ issue is the same for men as it is for women?



  11. Very interesting, Vince! Maybe it's something we need to think about as we write our men characters!

  12. When we trust someone we are making ourselves vulnerable, the chance is always there that we may be hurt. Love and trust truly walk hand in hand. In ministry my DH & I have had our hearts broken a few times and as we turn to the Lord He helps us forgive and continue on. Without forgiveness bitterness grows and love is nowhere in sight. Often God restores the trust, the relationships if we give it to Him and trust Him to work it out. It's so encouraging that we can be confident in Lord and trust in His love always!

  13. Someone broke my trust a long time ago. I struggled and prayed and eventually forgave. But I can't seem to forget. I've been told that means I haven't forgiven. I disagree. When I do remember, there's no anger or other pulse increasing emotion. Just sadness.

  14. Anita Mae, I agree I think you can forgive but that doesn't mean you will forget and especially the lesson you learned from the encounter.
    Vince, your thoughts on men and trust are very interesting and like Missy something I will be thinking about. Thanks.

  15. Gotta love that cat and his comments. I totally relate.

    Anita Mae, I believe forgiveness is an act of will. So if you believe you've forgiven you have.