Monday, February 9, 2009

Love Is Not Rude

Love is not rude. When I thought of people being rude, I had a flashback to an old ‘I Love Raymond’ episode where Raymond’s father is determined to gain serenity. He keeps chanting ‘Serenity Now, Serenity Now.’ Of course, so many irritating things happen that he ends up being rude to his wife. Meanwhile, he looks like this man on the face of the Arc De Triomphe, facing the Champs Elysees, in Paris.

(Don’t you just love the sculpture by the way? I can feel the man’s frustration and was happy to find a place to post the photo).
Some day’s are like that – our rudeness just comes out of us. It’s not that we start the day deciding to be rude to anyone we meet. But we had a dozen things happen and we’re late for something and – before we know it we’ve looked at a store clerk and snapped at them. It’s not something we planned, but it’s there all the same.

I wish I was better at handling the annoyances in my life. How about you? Sometimes I am able to put on the mind of Christ and be patient with people – sometimes I don’t make it. Prayer helps. Meditation helps. But, the reality is, there are lots of minor annoyances in each of our lives and, all too often, the end result is rudeness, sometimes to strangers and sometimes to those close to us.

Give me your thoughts on rudeness (I should mention it is not only annoyances that bring forth rudeness, we are often responding to bad treatment from others, too).


  1. I feel for people who are clerks or work in jobs like that because they often suffer at the rudeness of people. I've witnessed it. And I've seen a person say something that she hadn't intended to be rude but the other person takes it that way. Ah, the dynamics of human being!

  2. You're so right, Margaret. I've also seen some of those same clerks respond so graciously I am amazed. I always wonder how they do it.

  3. Hi Janet:

    I read “You Are Not the Target“ by Laura Huxley when I was in college (PCC) and ever since then ( I think 1963), I always assume a rude person is really upset about something else. Often I feel sorry for them.


  4. Hi, Vince!! How cool to see you here. I'm used to seeing you over on eHarlequin (and so appreciated your thoughts there). You are right that there is often more behind a rude remark than we know.


  5. I was a waitress for almost a decade. I think what I detested the most was when someone snapped their fingers at me. Arg.

  6. Great Post Janet,
    I worked through high school as a waitress then owned my hair salon for 25 years and I learned a smile turns bad situations into good ones. But, believe me I had to bite my tongue so many times it's a wonder I still have one. Like Vince, (Hi Vince so glad you dropped in) I always wondered what it was that was really bothering the person that they would blow up over some easily fixable like a hamburger having tomatoes on it when they'd asked for none :)

    Its the same for me. When I'm under deadline or under huge amounts of stress it is best for me to stay hidden, so that I don't say something I will regret. I'm pretty plain spoken but I HATE it when I say something too bluntly. Or, on the same thought as Margaret said, I hate saying something that could be taken the wrong way because I was too stressed to realize exactly how I was wording something. I've also realized that if I'm stressing and find myself on the edge of opening my mouth too much that if I emerse myself in scripture God's word will calm me and reasure me that the stress will pass.

  7. Pamela and Debbie --

    You both get stars for doing jobs that required some patience! And, Debbie, like you I have spoken at times when I wished I had kept my mouth closed.

  8. Janet, your post reminded of a time when I was driving to the story, singing praise and worship music along with the radio, feeling all spiritual and special. Then I went inside the store and the clerk ticked me off. By the time I got back in the car, I had to repent for being a little rude to the clerk. I didn't go in the store annoyed, but I let her total lack of customer service get to me. Yes, she could have done better, but the Lord led me to see that I was the one at fault. I was the one praising Him with my lips but my actions didn't appear too Christian. It was a reminder I try not to forget!!

  9. Thanks for the great photo, Janet! LOL I've been there but don't remember such detail. :)

    In thinking about Valentine's month, I'm reminded of the times I'm rude to my husband. Sometimes he gets the worst of me since I guess I take him for granted. But love is not rude! And that's something I need to remember.

  10. Hello Janet:

    The photo of the man in your post is from the sculpture, "La Marseillaise," by a Frenchman named Rude.

    Francois Rude.

    Did you do this on purpose to see if we would catch the pun? LOL.


  11. I really like the thread we have going this month.

    My husband is usually the outright rude one in the family, although I've slipped over to the dark side a few times myself. I guess I learned patience being a nurse. I get to meet people on some of the worst days of their lives so I just shrug off their attitude and try to make them feel better.

    But if we are being honest here, and this is a good place for it, I sometimes find myself being rude on the inside. I smile at the inept clerk and say, “That’s okay I’m not in a hurry.” when I really am and I’m thinking, “Why would anyone give an idiot like you this job?”

    Now which is worse? Rude on the outside or rude on the inside? I think they damage us equally.

  12. Linda -- thanks for sharing. I've done that, too --

    Missy -- I think it is true that it's easy to be rude to those close to us and that, sometimes, we need to work on that most.

    Vince - LOL. It wasn't a test. I just thought it was too complicated to explain. Glad you saw it though.

    Pat -- I honestly don't know whether it's worse to be rude on the outside than the inside. The outside hurts someone else, but the inside hurts us.

  13. Love the picture!! lol Thanks for posting that. =)

    I'm tired of seeing rudeness to waitors/waitresses. It gets on my last nerve and I've never even worked in the food industry. So please, people, give your servor a break. Its so ugly to watch someone be ugly to a wait-person.

  14. Hi All -- I just had to clip a bit from this article I just read. What do you think? Do you agree?

    A flashy handbag or Armani suit can signal a person's wealth, but so can their body language, according to a new study. People of higher socioeconomic status are more rude when conversing with others.