Friday, December 4, 2009

Speaking of Frays...

Valerie Hansen here:

When I think of Christmas I remember being a wide-eyed child who was always excited to greet the day and see what gifts I'd received. Now that I'm older - much older - I realize that the real gift is Jesus and the day we celebrate His birth isn't what should be most important. We receive amazing gifts from God daily and I think He should be worshipped the same way.

Which brings me to my "fray". After my husband and I were married the inlaw wars began. If we happened to mention spending time with one side of the extended family, the others were adamant that we give them the same amount of attention - or more. It got ridiculous. Me, being the kind of person who likes everyone to "play nice" came up with the perfect solution. We would, with everyone else's blessing, spend a whole day at each house prior to Chirstmas, then have a restful Christmas day at home with our young children on Dec. 25th. Sounds logical, right? I sure thought so. Unfortunately, although everyone seemed to have a wonderful time during our visit, all was not well.

On Christmas day, filled with joy and peace, I telephoned my mother to share my joy and thank her for being so understanding. What did she say in response? "You ruined my Christmas."

I'm telling you this true story to make a point. It's not the day that's holy, it's our Saviour. Tradition is fine as long as it doesn't become our main focus. Times change. People leave us, as those folks in my life who were so rigid have done. I'm not sorry that I tried to make peace, only that I did it without saying what I've just said to you.

Be blessed. Everyday. That is my Christmas prayer for you.



  1. Val, you so right, it isn't about the exact day. It's about the reason for the season.

  2. Thank you for sharing that story.
    Today is a blessed day because we have Jesus now and forever.

  3. Wow! I'm sorry! I can't imagine she said that : O Lol...I think that prolly ruined YOUR Xmas a lil that year.

    You are totally right though...the Xmas season has gotten way too commercialized...

  4. Being single can have its bonus's.
    When my brother married mum made sure they knew we (me and mum) wouldn't be upset if they didn't spend Christmas with us. But as my brothers wife had never really had a Christmas like we do she wanted to come. Her family remembered Christmas but with none of the trimmings. no presents or a big deal for meals just a family get together sometime around the day.
    We tended to open our presents before Church it changed to after Church when brother and family would wrap every single gift to the kids so they would get 10 or so from each of the parents and it took hours we do one gift at a time. then off to Church and then home for lunch. Lunch was roast meat served cold cooked the day before and sometimes veggies sometimes salad depending on the weather. Then desert. After lunch the adults (besides me) tended to have a nap and I would do dishes and then take the kids to the playground for an hour or so so the others napped. then they would leave and I would start a jigsaw. But We were happy to have Christmas just mum and I also.
    Now with mum in the nursing home and not really coping with Christmas anymore I am alone but Christmas doesn't have to be lonely. Just like you said Valerie its what we make it We remember the reason and its not a lonely time.
    I will go to church (its not Christmas without the service and just have a peaceful time)


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