Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Lyn Cote here-Are Men Romantic?

Lyn Cote here--keeping track today about one of the many differences between men and women. How romantic are each of the sexes?

Click the link below and you'll watch a 1.02 minute video. It's a clip from the old comedy, FRIENDS. I never watched the show much, but this is so exactly on target.


Now compare that video with this one.

How do you explain the contrast between the first and second videos?

Why is one man bereft of romance and the other filled with it to overflowing?

Any ideas? We romance writers want, no NEED to know!

Here's an excerpt from my latest romance, Daddy in the Making. I think this is a very romantic scene. Tell me what you think?

To set up the scene, my hero is a vet and with the help of my heroine he has just rescued a litter of orphaned kittens.
Inside, Jeannie stood across from Jake, with the high examining table between them. One by one, he gently lifted out the kittens. He examined their teeth, ears, prodded their abdomens, and gave them distemper shots. All the while, he murmured to them. All the while Jeannie pressed her lips tightly together to hold it all in—all her sadness, her loss, and her loneliness. She and Carrie had been orphaned too and left defenseless in this harsh world.

When Jeannie had placed the last kitten back into the box, she turned away, trying to hide the tears that could no longer be held back. Trying to stop them.

"Jeannie, oh, Jeannie," Jake said and within two steps, she found herself in his arms. "Don't cry."

Jake folded Jeannie into his arms and against him. Jeannie--soft and warm and fragrant, with the subtle scent of lilacs.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop--" But then a sob erupted, ripping the peace of the quiet clinic.

"This is about more than just these poor kittens." His unexpected observation slipped out, but he judged it to be true. "What's wrong, Jeannie?" I can't bear to see you cry. Let me make it right.

"It's just all the orphans in this sad world. I know how that feels--I was one," she whispered.

Me, too. He'd never put this into words. But he had been orphaned too. At least, that was how he'd always felt. A lump in his chest, he tugged Jeannie even closer. "I'm here," he said simply.
So are men naturally romantic? And do you agree that my scene is romantic?--Lyn


  1. Lyn,
    Very interesting question. I do think men may have to work at being romantic, and they think in different terms. In the end, I do think they can be romantic. I think my husband is from time to time, but at other times, I just shake my head.

  2. I agree, Merrillee,
    My dh can be very romantic but he must take time to plan to be. And I always appreciate the effort.
    I wonder if it isn't the times also. I don't think our culture promotes romance. I think it promotes SEX. Quite different.

  3. Hi Lyn:

    What a can of worms!

    One man is a poet in love with love itself and with his art. He is not really being romantic; he’s being creative. There probably really wasn’t a woman at the time.

    There is a difference between behavior women find romantic, like being protective and kind to a child, and being symbolically romantic, like opening a car door for a woman or bringing her candy on Valentine’s Day. One is the essence of romance and the other is just the trappings of romance.

    Men would find the women in that video to be terrible! Disgraceful! It is unseemly for a man to talk about the details of sex with a date! It is either bragging, or it is ‘kissing and telling’ (not good for a man to do if the woman is decent). Besides, a man may be considering marrying that woman and in no way would he want to discuss any details about sex. That woman may become the mother of his children. A Madonna.

    In a way, women are not romantic at all. They are just ‘romance’ consumers. To dissect a kiss, as in that video, that’s the same as pulling the petals out of a beautiful rose – just to get a better look at it!

    Men are the only true romantics.



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